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Baby

Millie Wants a Sister

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Millie Wants a Sister

When I was two years old, I would yell out the window asking the neighborhood children who were walking home from school to come play with me. My parents decided to try for another baby when they saw how lonely I was. Millie has two brothers, two amazing brothers, and she’s definitely not lonely.

Unknown to us at the time of Crosby’s conception, both boys were born with a genetic syndrome called IFAP that they will endure their entire lives. I have a 50/50 chance to drop an egg with the compromised X-chromosome so it would be considerably irresponsible for us to have another baby naturally, due to this genetic condition (You don’t know what you don’t know but once you know, there’s no more unknowing).

Let’s talk about a 4th child, because we have been for over a year. Chris was not on board because we couldn’t guarantee that the baby would be a girl (Millie wants a sister) or most importantly, that the baby wouldn’t have IFAP. When we were at Crosby’s annual genetics appointment, I asked the doctor what our options were for growing our family without this syndrome. To Chris and my surprise, the genetic doctor was extremely optimistic about our chances of having a baby without IFAP through a form of IVF, genetic implantation. The guarantee of uncompromised chromosomes made us both considerably more interested in growing our family.

I’ve been told, “You’re crazy!” “You won’t fit in a regular sized car.” “Four children is too many!” And maybe I am, and maybe it is, but I can’t shake the feeling that we are missing someone in our family. Chris tried convincing me that the longing I felt was me missing my sister (who passed away in 2019) and while that is true, there are more reasons why having a fourth would complete our family.

Reason No. 1: We are Christian and we believe wholeheartedly that growing God’s Kingdom is of great importance. We are in a loving marriage and have been blessed with a beautiful home and finances that can support another member. We also have great family support; my mom moved up to Ohio from Virginia to be close to our family.

Reason No. 2 : I would do anything for Millie and she is adamant that she wants a sister. I understand why; I had a sister. I had the experience of sharing and stealing clothes, sticking up for her when others weren’t so nice, late night conversations about boys and our parents, and rules and breaking those rules. I had experiences as an adult with my sister; asking her to be my maid of honor, going out to bars and nightclubs, decorating our first apartments, and of course lots of shopping. If I am able to give Millie a sister, I want to.

Reason No. 3 : A kind of different reason (and maybe it’s not so different if you’re in a family afflicted with a genetic syndrome), but another reason why I would like to have another child (and specifically this way) is the knowledge that is possible to have a baby without this compromised chromosome. Absolutely nothing against my beautiful children with IFAP (we love you exactly the way you are). Chris and I have had many conversations about the possibility that our current children will resent the fact that this sibling would not have the syndrome; that we made a “healthy” child. Would they think that this is our “favorite” child? I think if it were a boy, there could be issues. Like, in some way our boys weren’t good enough and that is not at all the case. I want to experience this IVF process myself so that one day I could speak to my children about how to responsibly grow their own families, first hand.

So Chris called and set up a consultation with one of the clinics of reproduction and gynecology, and we had a virtual consultation about what we wanted and needed to grow our family. Our first meeting went really well. The doctor listened to our needs and was very affirming that we would be great candidates for this PGM choice. He explained how RGI would harvest my eggs and collect Chris’ sperm and after six days they would send the specimen off to the lab to be biopsied to tell us if any embryo was growing without the compromised chromosome. We would then implant an embryo without the compromised chromosome in hopes for a healthy baby. I questioned, “What happens to the embryos that have compromised chromosomes that we chose not to implant?” The answer was, “That’s your choice” and that is the moral dilemma that we are dealt. Those embryos, if implanted, would become people; babies; real life humans. Notice I’m saying if implanted. The reproductive doctor said he would not recommend these embryos for donation or implantation due to the genetic complication however, I’m thinking about my boys, Wells and Crosby, and how even though they have this syndrome, how perfect they are, and how grateful a family would be to have a child regardless of their syndrome. So, when does a life become a life? Are we OK discarding the compromised embryos? Are we okay discarding the healthy embryos we wouldn’t be using?

The next step in this process was going to RGI for an ultrasound screening to make sure that my ovaries and uterus looked okay for this procedure. I was a little taken back by the fact that I had to get a vaginal ultrasound while on my period! Normally, the OB does not want to see you while you’re on your period so I asked “What are you seeing while I’m on my period versus when I’m not?” and the doctor explained to me that this was the start of my cycle and the best way to know what’s going on is to have the most information possible and this gave him information about my follicles and lining that he might not otherwise have. Gross.

I went to this appointment on my lunch break (hindsight probably not the best idea) but I’m so low on sick days. Before I was taken back to the examination room, I took a video for Mill’s “maybe baby sister”. The lady at the reception desk started to tear up and said, “Oh my gosh, those videos will be so beautiful to share with your baby.” I got emotional thinking about what was to come.

I was taken into a room where two nurses were prepping to draw my blood. I was skeptical about having them do a blood draw when I wasn’t scheduled for one or gotten any sort of preauthorization from my insurance. They handed me a pamphlet that said this genetic blood test would be $300 out of pocket. I told the nurses that I did not feel comfortable doing the lab draw today and they audibly scoffed as they walked me back into the lobby. I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me.

I was asked to follow a nurse to the OB room and as soon as I was alone, I called Chris. I was bawling when I told him that I felt unprepared for this appointment. He assured me that we would just get the information and nothing had to be decided that day. He was able to calm me down before the doctor came in. I laid on the table with my feet up, bleeding while I was waited. The doctor told me that I had 11 follicles on my left ovary and 15 follicles on my right, which made him incredibly optimistic that I would have lots of eggs to harvest. I was stunned when he said, “This is excellent. All of these follicles will produce eggs and you can have as many healthy babies as you want.” I’m sure he meant for that news to bring me joy and that many women would be ecstatic hearing that however, I just started to cry. If I have all those eggs and I can have as many healthy babies as I want, why did two of them have this terrible syndrome and my daughter may be a carrier?

My heart hurt. I know the boys will have so many questions for me as they get older especially once they start realizing how different they are from their peers. I will say this again, I wish I could’ve known about being a carrier for IFAP before we started family planning but I don’t regret having my children or the people that they are because this is a part of them. I just wish we would’ve known that I had this syndrome so that we could have safely brought our sons into this world without having the daily struggles that they will have for the rest of their lives.

Next in the process were lots of blood draws – some I don’t even know what for; my genome mapping, infectious disease, etc. My 500+ panel (a carrier screening of mutations in DNA) came back completely perfect- ironic because I am a carrier of a chromosomal abnormality, because of it’s rarity, it’s not a mutation that’s checked on the panel. At one draw, I heard the tech sitting behind the desk say, “It was the ninety’s; everyone had crabs!” Ew.

Many hours were spent on the phone talking to our insurance company and the reproductive facility to find out what was covered financially and what would be out of pocket expenses. Ultimately, we found that once we hit our deductible of a couple thousand, everything else would be covered. I continued to check, double check, and triple check our coverage so there would be no hidden fees. We are so blessed to be in a position to be able to afford this process.

Chris scheduled his appointment to get his sperm analyzed and frozen for the week we got back from Disney. I was excited to go on a family vacation and also excited that when we got back, serious strides were being made in hopes of baby number four. While packing for Disney, I made sure to include a new package of pads in my suitcase because I hadn’t started my monthly cycle and I knew for sure I’d start while we were on our trip. Ugh, the worst; no one wants to be on their period on vacation. Throughout the whole trip, I never bled. I didn’t even spot. I chalked it up to the stress of the holidays and planning a family trip. The weirdest thing happened while we were at Disney, I heard my grandma say, “The best thing about being pregnant in December…” I told her right then, “Maw, I’m definitely not pregnant.” I don’t know what prompted her to say that but I reiterated to her many times that we were not expecting.

Once we got home from Disney, I was a week late starting my period. A couple more days went by and still, zero cramping. I was starting to get concerned so I brought it up to Chris and he calmed me down by reminding me of another time I had been late to start my period and how everything turned out fine (it was only a few months after Crosby was born and I was breastfeeding round the clock). Two days after our conversation, as I was getting ready for work, I realized that I hadn’t yet taken my morning pee and I had an unopened pregnancy test in the bathroom cabinet. I decided to test, what could it hurt? I knew I wasn’t pregnant and thought that the negative test would put me at ease. Of course when you’re thinking about using the restroom, you have to go even more so I ripped the test open and without hesitation peed on the stick.

Almost immediately it read positive. When I was pregnant with Mill the lines were so faint, barely there. This result was bold and very much positive. I genuinely didn’t know how to feel because I was in complete shock. I continued to get ready for work like a walking zombie; I can’t even remember what I chose to wear. All I could keep repeating in my mind was, “We are going through the genetic implantation process, we are going through the genetic implantation process, we are going through the..” and SURPRISE we get pregnant again the old fashioned way. My OCD and anxiety were not allowing me to be anything other than devastated because this was not the “plan”.

Chris was downstairs filling up my water bottle for work and when I came down, he could tell something was the matter. He pulled me aside and I showed him the positive test. I couldn’t even look at him; I kept thinking about how much he didn’t want another child this way. My doubts were clouding my brain. To my surprise, he pulled my chin up and smiled. He chuckled and said, “I expected this. It’s going to be okay.” I fell into his chest and he said, “It’s going to be fine.”

I called my best friend Lindsey because I knew she would understand my dilemma. She’s a mom of a son with a genetic birth defect, she has an autoimmune disease, and she knows my heart so intimately because of our thirty year friendship. She was so supportive of anything I said and felt. She reminded me of the autonomy I had over myself and that I wasn’t alone. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be pregnant, it just wasn’t the responsible plan I had created for growing my family.

I waited until 8am, frantically called my OB, and they instructed me to go to the outpatient lab to get my HCG levels tested. I told them that this was not how I wanted or planned to get pregnant and I wanted all my options as soon as possible. My HCG results came back over 600 which was perfect for a five week pregnancy. I explained to my nurse that I wanted genetic testing done as soon as humanly possible because of our history with IFAP syndrome. She explained that to get into the MFM geneticist, we would first have to have an ultrasound in the books and one was scheduled for two weeks later.

Once the ultrasound was scheduled, I reached out to our IVF liaison to let them know I was pregnant “the old fashioned way”. I was disappointed telling them because it’s not what we planned and I hate letting people down. I was so surprised when they were incredibly supportive and congratulatory. They said, “Just let us know if we can help in any way.” Their kindness brought me to tears.

I started to feel excited for this new addition. I bought a Coach diaper bag (boujee, I know), the sweetest crocheted stork to use for the pregnancy announcement picture, and a mail-in blood test kit that I could take at 8 weeks because that would be quicker than the OB’s tests. Gender would tell us some of what we needed to know ie. a girl would at most be a carrier.

Chris and I told our out-of-state friends who happened to be in town that we were expecting. I told my friend Anna because we were going to be celebrating her wedding in Vegas and I didn’t want her buying any drink vouchers for me. I told my friend Madison from work because she asked me if I could do a leadership committee after school the next year and I had to tell her why I couldn’t make that commitment. Everyone we told was so excited for us which helped my mental state because internally, I was terrified that I was giving yet another perfect baby this horrible, genetic syndrome.

The day of the ultrasound, I was anxious to hear the baby’s heartbeat. I took a video for Millie’s “maybe baby sister” and walked in the office with butterflies in my stomach. To my surprise, this ultrasound looked different than any of the others I’ve had. The ultrasound tech asked me, “How sure are you about your schedule?” My response, “Pretty damn.” She said that the embryo sack was there but not a fetal pole yet. She said that I would need to have another ultrasound done before I could be seen by MFM and I was shattered.

I called Chris and said, “A six weeks fetus looks like nothing! Literally nothing! Why is anyone arguing about abortion before six weeks when it was just a little, black speck?!” The doctor called me the next morning and explained that there was one of two things happening; I was either off on my dates and this pregnancy was not as far along as I thought or this was an unviable pregnancy. My OB explained that I would either start bleeding or I wouldn’t and she set an appointment for another ultrasound two weeks later. I was shocked with how nonchalant she was and I honestly, how I was. I’m such a control freak but I knew I had no control over this.

A week went by and there was no bleeding. I was still pregnant and I was starting to feel more confident that I was wrong with my dates. While I was teaching the following Monday, I felt a familiar gushy feeling in between my legs. My mind immediately started panicking but I had a class to teach so we kept singing about the lunar new year. Between classes I ran to the bathroom and sure enough I had a quarter sized drop of blood in my underwear. The part of me that knew something was wrong was internally fighting the part of me that thought this was normal; incubation blood – it wasn’t that much.

I didn’t bleed anymore that morning. Not until 4pm when our staff meeting ended and I sat on the toilet and a clump of blood the size of a grape was sitting at the bottom of the bowl. I took a picture of it and sent it to my OB, am I losing this pregnancy? Thankfully, the nurse wrote back quickly and said that this wasn’t as much blood as I was thinking it was and to reach back out if there was more bleeding or I developed a fever.

I drove to pick up Crosby from my grandmas house and almost had to pull over, I was sobbing so hard my vision was blurred. I had crying welts all over my face when I saw my Maw rocking a sleeping Crosby. She immediately asked, “What’s wrong, honey?” And I squeaked out, “I think I’m losing this baby.” She cried with me. I had never told her I was pregnant but yet she knew.

Prayerfully, no more bleeding happened that night and there was no blood the next morning either. I was beginning to think that the nurse was right; maybe it wasn’t as much blood as I thought. I taught my classes all day without bleeding, I picked up my kids after school; Crosby first, then the bigs, and I was still good. Once I got home, I started making dinner – Taco Tuesday, when I felt the familiar rush of blood.

I went to the restroom and it was the same amount of blood as before, not too much but enough to make me worried. I finished making dinner but I could barely eat; I had no appetite. Chris cleaned up and I gave the kids a bath; they always get so messy on taco night. It was an early bedtime for the kids because I had 125 buckeyes to make for school (I promised my students, 480 total, that I’d make each of them a homemade buckeye if Ohio State won the National Championship – I’ll never do that again.) As I was coating the peanut butter balls with the melted chocolate, I started to feel intense cramping. I had to stop what I was doing in the kitchen and I laid down on the couch. The cramping continued and I put in for a sick day; I was feeling really miserable and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get the buckeyes done, let alone teach. Chris turned on, Suits and I laid on my side, praying that the pain would go away.

I remember saying to Chris, “These feel like contractions.” The hope of a new life in our family was slipping away and I could physically feel it. Fearfully, I got up to use the restroom, sat down on the toilet, and felt something really strange. I looked through my legs and was stunned by the sight of a horrific, coagulated blood clot the size of a cucumber, hanging out of me. It was so much. I stood up. I can’t accurately describe how it felt other than I felt all of it, like an after birth. I remember screaming, flushing the toilet, and crying into Chris’ chest. Our baby was gone.

The cramping immediately subsided. That euphoric feeling after you give birth and all the pain goes away? This was the same in that the pain went away but I felt empty and miserable. I called my OB and they instructed me to get my HCG levels checked again. I did. It was still rising. But not as much as it should have. No one tells you that after you miscarry, you continue to bleed for weeks. The smell of the blood was different than period blood and it made my stomach churn. I had to go back to work (I have zero sick time after three maternity leaves) while bleeding out the pregnancy. I got a UTI, which I have after every delivery, and the doctor chalked that up to the miscarriage. The next Taco Tuesday, I had a panic attack and sat on the floor in the kitchen and cried. I can’t remember a whole lot from the weeks after because I think my brain was protecting me from the mental pain.

I went back to the lab four more times during the month of February. My HCG had to decrease from over 4,000 to under 5. If my body wouldn’t do this naturally, I would have another ultrasound and possibly a DNC. Thankfully, my body understood the assignment and almost month later, my HCG returned to normal. Finally, the nurse at the OB’s office called me and said, “Well, I guess this saga is over. A miscarriage doesn’t mean you’ll miscarry again. It happens in nearly 1 in 5 pregnancies. Something must have been off in the chromosomes. You should have a period next month. Reach out with any questions.” This saga. Yeah.

After the kids go to bed at night, Chris and I can talk about grownup things. I remember him saying, “I can’t understand why all these bad things keep happening to you.” All I said was, “I keep waking up everyday, just like you.” I was struggling with guilt – women who get further along, those are the ones that should be grieving. Me? I was only 8 weeks and 4 days. I have three beautiful children. Why was I struggling to get out of bed? I didn’t feel like myself. I lost twenty pounds in less than two months. I saw two pregnancy announcements on Instagram who were as far along as I was and I wanted to shake them; don’t they know at eight weeks you could lose it?! Someone at work said, “When are you going to have a fourth child? You need a SATB choir!” My heart instantly broke yet I wore a smile like a mask. I reached back out to my OB and asked if they had any recommendations for therapists specializing in miscarriage.

I was first referred to an outpatient clinic that met virtually 6 hours a day, for nine weeks; one hour for individual therapy, one hour for couples therapy, one hour was group therapy, and then three hours of grief curriculum – every day. I told intake, “Thank you but I can’t do all of that. I have a full time job and three children.” They responded that this treatment is for women who can’t function because of their loss, many of them take FMLA to complete this program, and after an intensive 9 weeks, they are rehabilitated. I politely told them that if I found myself debilitated by grief, I would give them a call back and I thanked them for the work that they do for the women who need it. I felt guilty for wasting their time.

I reached back out to my OB’s office and asked them to refer me to a less intensive therapy. Like, a once a week for an hour type of deal. I was informed about POEM (perinatal outreach and encouragement for moms). They first matched me with a therapist who was Christian and had grief counseling on her “about me” page. During our first session, she told that everything happens for a reason. I miscarried because God wanted me to push into him and I wasn’t reading scripture enough. She recommend a devotional I had already read. I ended up canceling my next session with her – not because I don’t value scripture! But because I don’t believe the Lord had anything to do with my miscarriage. I believe that loss is of the world and not of Him at all. I believe Jesus wept with me and He was not condemning me for not reading more of the Bible. Still, I felt guilty for my lack of study.

I felt guilty for the moments that I wished we would’ve gotten pregnant through genetic implantation instead of naturally. I felt guilty that I had ever considered terminating the pregnancy because it wasn’t what we “planned”. I felt guilty that I lost a sibling for my children. I felt guilty because my husband didn’t want a baby naturally, but then I got pregnant and his feelings changed—only for us to lose the pregnancy and put him through an emotional rollercoaster. I felt guilty for doing a crap job teaching because my head was all over the place. I felt guilty for getting my nails done, dying my hair, and getting laser hair removal during the first weeks of the pregnancy when I didn’t know I was pregnant. I felt guilty that I wasn’t taking any prenatal vitamins before I got pregnant. I felt so much guilt because in my mind, I failed.

I contacted POEM again and they matched me with a different therapist; one who was familiar with miscarriage. Her “about me” said she was a mother, that she worked with NICU parents, had PTSD expertise, and specialized in grief counseling. Our very first session, she listened to me and validated my feelings. She helped me through navigating reaching back out to RGI in hopes that we could get back to where we were in planning for our future family. She told me that we would get my mind healthy for another pregnancy. I am so grateful to her and our continued work.

While I deeply grieve the loss this pregnancy, I don’t feel comfortable referring to a future baby as a ‘rainbow baby.’ No shade to anyone who uses that term because everyone heals differently and I can appreciate that. I want to honor my next experience (God willing) in its own space, but I also want the next pregnancy to be its own journey; without it being defined by the one before it. Heck, I don’t even wear the used hospitals gowns when I deliver because what if someone died in them? A new life deserves to be welcomed without the shadow of loss tied to it.

Since starting to open up about this loss, I have realized many women who I love and look up to have also had similar experiences. Before I experienced a miscarriage, I used to think, “Why wouldn’t mothers want the support of their friends and family and talk about it?” Well, now I know. It hurts. And it’s personal. And I’m moved to tears of the vulnerability of the women who have spoken about their losses with me because it’s made me feel so much less alone.

I haven’t been able to blog about anything else until this one was finished because the blueberry inside of me deserved a post on this feed. It’s only been a few months but I am starting to heal – heal in the fact that I can read this without sobbing and throwing my phone across the room. I am forever grateful for my faith, my husband, and my children.

To my children, someday you will read this and instead of it giving you a real life experience of life through genetic implantation, this teaches a different kind of life experience; loss. Incredible loss.

Baby

Summer 24

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Summer 24

We kicked off this summer with an, ‘A Kid Again’ adventure to the Columbus Zoo and Zoombeezi Bay. We all wore our matching, A Kid Again shirts; I had to cut the long sleeves off of Crosby’s – he won’t fit it during the winter months anyway. Millie and Wells wanted to ride the rides first, which was included with our event tickets. Due to their height, they couldn’t ride all of the rides but they were able to ride on the Macaw Spinner and the Swinging Gibbon (swings). We were given a meal time so between 4-5pm we went to the pavilions for dinner; veggie burgers, chips, cookies, drinks, and uncrustables for the kids – all included.

We were able to ride on the train through North America, something we have never done before at the Zoo. One little boy screamed the entire ride and due to the construction in that area, the train ride was not very scenic; we saw a lot of wooden fence. I was grateful we didn’t have to pay for that experience. We continued to Africa where we all fed a giraffe; another included activity. Millie and Wells were pros, they knew exactly what to do. Chris held Crosby while he fed Ootoo but Crosby backed his body into Chris’, he didn’t seem to like feeding the giraffe.

We headed over to Zoombeezi Bay as the sun was going down. This was the best time for the boys to experience the water park, when the sun wasn’t so harsh. After getting everyone changed into their suits (it was an experience trying to get the two bigs to change without touching the wet, bathroom floor) we had to wait for the day time life guards and night event life guards to change places. They informed us that they were not opening the toddler area for the evening (which was insane to me considering the amount of kids with needs that could have utilized a developmentally appropriate swimming area). We enjoyed our time in the wave pool even though the water was frigid!

Wells was shivering and Mills lips were purple so we knew it was time to dry off and go. As we were leaving, A Kid Again volunteers were passing out fiber optic, light-up wands to each kid. There were three colors to choose from; orange, green, and blue, so each of my kids got a different color. They enjoyed swinging them around – even Crosby! Chris didn’t particularly care for the wands when he mistaked them for police lights in his rear view mirror.

The next day, Millie and I went to her Senior Prayer Buddy’s graduation party. She has absolutely loved spending time with Kennedy this year. She brought her a card, got to take pictures with her, highlight a scripture in her Bible (she chose one from the book of Psalms), and eat a cookie decorated like a graduation cap. Millie got to see her kindergarten teacher at the party and Mill spoke with Kennedy’s mom about doing Bible Quizzing in the fall. The party was being held at the park across the street from my Dad’s house, so after we said our goodbyes, we popped over to Papa’s house to see him. My Dad lives next door to a student of mine and when the student saw me she said, “Hi, Mrs. Doyle!” Millie said, “Why are you calling my mommy, Mrs. Doyle?!”

To end the first weekend of summer vacation, we went to the Troy Strawberry Festival. We have never been there before but it reminded us of the Circleville Pumpkin Show – but strawberries. Millie wore a strawberry dress and purse for the occasion. She was astounded that the fountain in the middle of town had been dyed pink! She wore her sash and crown to make an appearance out of the event; she passed out strawberry candies and stickers to other little girls. There was a gag-band playing through the streets of the festival and when they saw Mill, they played a royal tune; she was flattered and took a picture with them. We ate delicious strawberry kettle corn and drank strawberry lemonade.

Throughout the week, we crafted necklaces with shrinky-dinks, celebrated Maw Maw Bev’s 77th birthday, played in the water table, completed math and reading pages, and went swimming in Maws pool – twice! The bigs swim independently (with their puddle jumpers) and I am able to hold Crosby in the water. We tried him in a float that reclined back but when he would sit up, the float flipped him straight into the water, head first. Maw took the float back the next day and told costumer service that it’s an unsafe floating device and that they should pull it from their shelves. While we were swimming, Wells told a tanned, mixed girl, “Your skin is boo-ti-ful!” He is such a special kid.

Saturday, Millie and I spent the morning at an ARB Pageant Workshop to help prepare for Nationals! Before the event started, some pageant queens were passing out their title cards with QR codes to take you to their website. Mill loved getting cards from everyone and she was upset that we didn’t have any to give out. They were given notebooks to keep notes in and Millie loved writing and drawing in it. Millie would play hand clapping games with her friend, Goldie while they would wait for their turn to work with the specialists. She was given runway advice and suggestions to make her introduction stronger.

After her workshop, we were super hungry so we had a mother-daughter lunch at her favorite restaurant; Olive Garden. Instead of playing games on the table-top tablet, she found the books app instead and we read while we ate. She had buttered noodles, broccoli, salad, and a few breadsticks. A waitress heard us reading and said, “I’ve never known there to be books on that thing! What a better option!” Millie will always opt to read.

The whole fam and my in-laws went to the Columbus Arts Festival. We got lemonade, stickers, sorbet, and free Nutcracker tickets! This is our second year “spinning the wheel” at the BalletMet booth and winning tickets; Millie was the lucky spinner last year and Chris spun the tickets this year – even though we were pretty sure Wells’ first spin was going to land on the tickets but Chris stopped the wheel and they made him re-spin because “the wheel hadn’t spun all the way around”. You could hear our exasperation. Thankfully, Chris redeemed himself when he spun and won the tickets on his turn.

Wells found an artist that he really liked who painted pictures of fish in unique places. The bigs enjoyed coloring at the zoos booth (Mill colored a purple and yellow Tasmanian devil). Mill tried tap dancing on a piece of wood and tap shoes. Crosby was fascinated by the helicopter flying above us. After the festival, Mill went to stay the night with her grandparents because they were going to take her on her June adventure; hiking. (They walked two trails in Hocking Hills and had a picnic lunch.)

Wells was disappointed he wasn’t going hiking with Mill so while we waited for our dinner to be ready for pick-up (we ordered Indian to-go) we let Wells play on a fun playground with swings and four slides across the street from the restaurant. It was so sweet, he ran up to the swing set and yelled, “Hi everybody! My name is Wells!” It reminded me of the first time he introduced himself to a stranger at the Newport Aquarium. Wells has worked so hard for his words and I am so incredibly proud of him.

The next week, our evenings were occupied with Vacation Bible School. This year’s theme was, “Team Jesus” because of the summer Olympics starting soon. Wells was able to attend VBS this year and he was super excited (although he was a little disappointed that the pre-k shirts were yellow and not blue). Millie was placed in a group with some of her friends from school. I didn’t feel like the message was as engaging as last years. Last year, Mill would come home everyday wanting to talk about Jesus and what she learned but neither kid did this week. On the family day, neither kid was singing along to the praise song; hopefully next year they’ll feel more connected. We all had a good time at the celebration to end the week. The bigs went down an inflatable water slide, jumped in a bouncy house, raced each other in a blow-up obstacle course, and ate shaved ice.

Millie was so excited to play tennis this summer. Even though the flyer said 2nd grade and up, the coach let Mill sign up because of how eager she was to learn. Every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 10am-12pm we walked over to the tennis courts for Mill to practice her serves across the net. The coach was so kind and patient with her. It was exciting watching her improve. On the last day, the coach let each kid fill a bag full of tennis balls to take home to practice with. Mill was able to cheer the kids out on the last day, “One, two, three, go Dawgs!”

Then my friend Rebecca passed away. Then my MawMaw Bev passed away. I was in survival mode and the kids played a lot on their own.

One of my best friends, Sarah, came and took the bigs to see Inside Out 2. She said that the kids were the best behaved kids in the theater. She also said that she took Wells to the bathroom and she was relieved when he said he didn’t have to poop (he still can’t wipe on his own quite yet). She brought back Chipotle for dinner and it was the nicest thing in the entire world because she’s the nicest person in the entire world.

We needed something happy so we celebrated Shark Week. I bought special balloons and shark hand puppets. Each night, we watched new Shark shows on t.v. We went to Outback Steakhouse because they had a special drink called the Sharky Temple. The kids had sprite with a Shark full of red grenadine. When they dunked the shark in the pop, the drink turned red like a shark attack.

For my dad’s 56th birthday, we planned a trip to see the Chicago Cubs play in Wrigley field. Dru and Katey graciously took the bigs putt-putting the Thursday before we left so I could get everyone packed. To split up the drive, we stayed one night in Indianapolis, Indiana before heading to Illinois. We woke up early on Friday, packed the car, and made it to the Indianapolis Zoo before 1pm; we rocked out to SpongeBob the Musical and Crosby slept the entire ride.

The Indianapolis Zoo is privately owned however, they still gave a discount on our entry for being Columbus Zoo members. After our tickets were scanned, the entrance to the zoo was through a beautiful garden which set the tone for the entire zoo experience. There were fountains with animal sculptures and actual parrots in the trees. We are used to a cluster of people, bubble wands, and annoying photographers trying to snap a picture; this was completely different. There was a greenhouse with exotic plants and what seemed like a million butterflies. It was better than the Franklin Park Conservatory’s butterfly exhibit and this was included with the admission to the zoo. The only issue was Crosby was having a rough time with his light sensitivity so we made sure that he was wearing his hat and sunglasses and tried our best to stay indoors.

We went into the ocean exhibit and there was an electric eel swimming out of the coral. It was squiggly and creepy looking. Wells was so excited to see the “touch pool” that had epaulette sharks, sting rays, and two dogfish sharks. This was actually the nations largest shark, touch pool. The water was deep and the wall was tall so Wells had a tough time reaching far into the water. It took some patience but eventually he was able to touch both sharks and many sting rays! With Chris’ support, even Millie touched a shark. Wells was so happy and proud of himself for being brave.

In the oceans exhibit, there was a section with different penguins. When Crosby saw them he said, “duck”. He was so proud of himself. There was a seal enclosure where the seals were diving in the water and swimming around. Chris asked the kids, “Do you know what’s making all those bubbles? The seals are tooting.” To which Wells replied, “That’s my favorite part.” Chris said, “What is?” Wells said, “The tooting.”

We were super impressed with the plant based options at the grill; Wells and I got veggie dogs, Mill got a pb&j, and Chris got vegan chorizo tacos. They even had chikn tenders and black bean burgers (It’s not often we get food choices). Crosby was struggling with his photophobia; the sun was super bright even with his sunglasses, hat, and stroller visor to help protect his eyes. While the rest of the family ate at an outdoor picnic table, I took Crosby into the gift shop where he was much more comfortable. While we were in there, I picked out a shark sticker for Wells’ suitcase and a Christmas ornament that said Indianapolis Zoo.

After lunch, we watched the Gibbon monkeys and that was a real treat. The mother monkey was pooping and the baby was grabbing the poop as it came out of its mother’s butt. It was disgusting but of course the kids thought it was hilarious. The baby monkey threw the poop on the ground – praise because I thought it was going to eat it and I would have barfed on everybody. We were pretty upset with the zoos newly added Chimpanzee “complex”. We saw it advertised on their website and social media. It was supposed to be this cool, interactive way to experience the chimpanzees however, it was more like hanging, metal dog crates. The chimps were no where to be found until we saw one at the bottom of a stairwell banging his head over and over again into the steps. It was hard to see.

We saw two, brown bears active in their enclosure. They were massive. One was taking a dip in the water and the other was walking around and even on its hind legs at one point. Crosby called them, “og” like dog – it was cute. The rhinos were sunken into a mud bath and when they raised up the suction sound was thick. The rhino walked to a large rock to scratch his underside and then let out a huge toot that made his tail fly! It was so gross!

There were wildebeests, ostriches, and kudus all in the same habitat. There was a large, ostrich egg just lying in the middle of the kudus. It was making me so anxious – all the hooves around the egg and the kudus kept sniffing at it. The ostrich looked down right haggard and was hissing at the kudus. It was national geographic at its finest.

Our favorite part of the Indianapolis Zoo was the dolphin show. I felt like we were at the Georgia Aquarium again. They had a huge indoor space with the water as the stage. We sat in stadium seats and were in awe of what these eight dolphins could do; jump, splash, turn – all on command. They showed a video about dolphin conservation and the dolphins that were critically endangered or extinct. Wells started to cry. He was so emotional about the dolphins. He loves ocean animals so much, bless his heart.

After our time at the zoo, we checked into our hotel for the night. It had two, queen size beds so Chris and I divided up; the boys slept with me and Chris had Mill. It was a quick stay. We packed up the next morning and spent the day at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. We were blown away by the size of the complex. There was a parking deck attached with a four story tall Anubis, an outside sports area sponsored by the Pacers, and a “life -sized” brontosaurus climbing through the window. Wells was amazed by the transformer, Bumblebee in the lobby.

The dinosaur exhibit was spread out on all four floors of the museum. Like the Children’s Museum in Dallas, Chris and I were impressed with how many bones were actual fossils versus casts. The fossilized skull of the duck-billed dinosaur was really off putting to say the least. Millie “smelled” what the dino would smell like to a T-Rex and she said it was disgusting (how would we know what they smelled like?). The bigs colored pictures of dinosaurs and scanned them onto a projected screen, much like what we did with the fish pictures at the Newport Aquarium. It was neat, each new dinosaur that was scanned would hatch out of an egg and walk across the wall. Wells was coloring in the lines!

My favorite part of the museum started on the bottom floor and was over 40 feet tall; a masterpiece of blown glass by Chihuly. The kids could make their own sculpture with plastic pieces made to look like blown glass. The ceiling was covered in different glass pieces with a slow spinning ottoman in the middle of the room that you would sit on and it gave a kaleidoscope effect. There are many Chihuly pieces at the Franklin Park Conservatory and I always remember how my much grandma loves them. I FaceTimed with her throughout this part of the museum so she could see the amazing art, too.

There was a Greece exhibit where it actually looked like you were in a villa in Sorento. Mill and I learned a traditional Grecian dance by an instructor and Wells rescued turtle “plastic” off the coast. We also enjoyed the Ninja Turtle exhibit (this is only there a limited time) and the kids got to shoot foam pizzas into windows. Another awesome art piece was many miniature doll houses; I wish I could’ve lived inside them, they were so beautiful. If you pressed a button, holograms of period people would walk around the houses. It was so cool.

On the top floor of the museum was a restored carousel. It broke down and was stored in someone’s barn for decades. There were all different animals; tigers, horses, giraffes and they were so intricately painted. We all rode on the carousel as a family. Millie wanted to ride a giraffe but they didn’t move up and down so she sat behind the giraffes on a horse. Wells didn’t want to go up and down so he sat on a giraffe. Crosby was not a fan so he stayed in my arms. As we were riding, I looked up and the top of the carousel was painted like the night sky – it was really beautiful.

There was so much more to do and explore in the Indianapolis Children’s Museum however, we were on a time crunch to get to Chicago before 5PM. On our way out, we got the kids a soft pretzel and to my surprise I hear, “Mrs. Doyle!” Two of my students were also at the museum and saw me there. I gave them hugs and told them to enjoy the rest of their vacation. It was neat seeing students in a different state experiencing cool, new things. As we walked back to the Jeep, we promised the kids that we would be back again.

The kids all napped during our drive to Chicago; I’m sure they were wiped from the museum. The bigs were awake when we entered the city so they could see the skyline. I saw a sign for Louis Vuitton and Wells repeated me in the sweetest French accent you’ve ever heard. Our first stop was to the American Girl store. Millie brought her doll, Isabelle, and woah was she excited (Mill, not the doll – the doll had seen better days. Her hair was a mess.) Millie was like a spinning top in the store; looking at everything and wanting everything. She cracked up seeing a doll scene of a bathroom. She especially liked seeing her dolls set ups; Kit and Isabelle. Chris and I both prefaced this shopping trip that we were going to spend $150 and that was all. A lot went into the shopping bag but when it was time to checkout, she was very good at deciding what she wanted and what she didn’t. She ended up getting matching shirts for her and her doll, a pajama outfit and slippers, a doll carrying bag, and Isabelle a new hair style.

Isabelle was looking raggedy. I didn’t know that prior to our trip, Mill had taken out Isabelle’s hair. Thankfully, the doll salon was open with not much of a wait, so we let Millie pick out a new hair style for Isabelle. Chris and the boys wondered off. I watched Millie as she lit up in amazement. She talked to the stylist and picked out ribbon colors. She chose two French braids with red and blue ribbons for the Cubs game we would attend the next day. She listened to the stylists instructions about how to keep her dolls hair nice and Millie hung on to every word.

We left the American Girl store and the kids rode on an escalator for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised by how well they did stepping off. We went to the Lego store for Wells and he and Chris chose different sets to put together. Crosby was having so much fun. He kept running behind the counter and the cashier said, “I should go grab him an application!” Millie saw a woman with my similar hair and build leave the store hand in hand with another man that was not her dad and she was very confused. She yelled, “Daddy! Mommy’s leaving!” But I was not leaving – I was chasing Crosby around.

After shopping, we made our way up to the highest floor of the mall to eat at Harry Carey’s. Both Mill and Wells did really well navigating the many escalators. Harry Carey’s TVs were playing the Cubs game but I didn’t get to watch much of it because I spent most of the time in the restroom instead of at our table! First, I had to go to the bathroom and as I was walking back, Wells was running towards me saying he had to go. Then, Mill had to go! Millie’s American Girl got to sit in a special high chair. We were so impressed with Wells, it was the first time he colored a picture inside the lines!

After eating dinner, we walked around the city for a bit before heading back to our car and going to our hotel for the night. The drive to our hotel was eventful. We drove past a road named, “Wells Street”. While we were on the highway, we saw a motorcycle up in flames and someone giving CPR on the side of the road – we found out later that the motorcyclist had died. When we got to the hotel, we met up with my dad and stepmom. They had already spent one night in Chicago celebrating my dad‘s 56th birthday. It was late, so we discussed plans for the ballpark the next morning, Millie dressed Isabelle in her new jammies and slippers, and went to sleep.

The next morning, we walked down to the hotel lobby for the complementary breakfast. I had Crosby on my hip when I walked over to grab a bowl of cereal, and I heard a man say to his wife or partner or female friend, “That’s one ugly ass kid.” If my kids weren’t present, I would’ve had some choice words with this man however, I chose to grab breakfast and go about my way. Who says something like that about a child? It honestly had me mentally messed up all morning. After breakfast, we all dressed in Chicago Cubs gear and loaded the Jeep headed to Wrigley Field – the kids and my Dad’s first time!

When we arrived in Wrigleyville, I gave my Dad a big, blue, birthday hat that he wore for a picture or two and left in a tree by our parking garage. I wore Crosby in the baby carrier and Chris carried Wells on his shoulders. As we walked closer to the stadium, I watched my Dad’s face as he saw places he had recognized from WGN broadcasts. The smile on his face when he saw the Wrigley Field sign was priceless. He took pictures under the sign and next to the new, Ryne Sandberg statue. We went into a Cubs team store and bought my Dad a red, baseball hat to match his outfit, for his birthday.

Millie got so many compliments on Isabelle. Many workers reminisced about their little ones and their dolls. We got the kids and my Dad, “first time” certificates and pictures. We got food and found our seats (apparently my Dad almost choked to death getting his hot dog). Our seats were underneath a seat deck which made the sunny day so much better on my Dad and the boys’ eyes to be sitting in the shade. A 92 year old, lifelong cubs fan threw the first pitch and the National Anthem was performed by a father-son, saxophone and guitar duet. We were ready for some baseball!

Crosby sat up in a seat by himself and drank water from his Clark the Cub sippy cup. Wells ate French fries and fell asleep on Chris’ arm while watching baseball. Millie was actually invested in the game and asking intelligent baseball questions. My heart was so entirely full. During the ninth inning, my Dad, the kids, and I walked behind the ivy to prepare to “run the bases”. One Sunday a month, kids at the ballpark can run the bases on Wrigley Field. Each kid could have one adult with them so my Dad and I also got the opportunity to be on the field. Finishing the game through the Ivy was surreal. Cubs won in extra innings and we got to sing, “Go Cubs, Go!” with my Dad on his birthday.

Walking out onto Wrigley Field felt like a dream. Wells and Mill ran out in front of us as my Dad and I tried to take everything in. Cubs players were conversing with their families out in the outfield. The grass was so incredibly green. I gave Mill my phone to video record while she and Wells ran the bases. They started the kids at first base told them to, “go!” So Mill took off towards home plate and she had the whole lot of kids going the wrong way. Her and Wells ran to home plate, to third base, out to left field, to second base, then they were finally turned around by a field volunteer, hit third base, and ran to home plate again. They definitely got my money worth, running around the bases!

Walking back to the car was tough because the kids were so tired. Millie was embarrassed that she ran the wrong way around the bases. My Dad’s foot was killing him from all the walking he’d done in Chicago. We made bets on if the blue, birthday hat would still be hanging in the tree by the parking garage. Wells was the only one to say, “I think so.” We all freaked out when we saw the hat, in all its glory, still hanging in the tree.

On the ride back to the hotel, we chose a restaurant while Crosby entertained us with his best rendition of, “Go Cubs, go!” We ate at a delish, hole in the wall, Mediterranean place called Backyard Grill, celebrating its 20th year in business and reminisced on the amazing weekend we had. We went back to the hotel and presented my Dad with a chocolate brownie cake that we made for him with the candles 5 and 6 for his birthday. The kids were begging us to take a dip in the hotel pool so before bed, we swam for an hour. Chris and I were amazed because Millie was jumping in and swimming underwater for the first time!

The next morning, we said goodbye to my Dad and step-mom as they left for home. We checked out of the hotel and drove back into the city of Chicago to take the kids to the Chicago Aquarium. The Aquarium is right on Lake Michigan; it’s beautiful! The kids and I enjoyed sitting by the water before and after our excursion – Chris wasn’t about the detour. Wells loves everything about the ocean and we found out that the Chicago Aquarium has white-sided dolphins, a species that we had never seen before. I was so impressed with the architecture of the building; the ceiling tiles had carved ocean creatures and the crown molding looked like waves. The kids loved playing on the indoor playground at the penguin exhibit. I was so impressed with Millie as she read so many of the informational texts next to the tanks. Before we left, I threw some seagulls some pretzels. The kids loved watching the birds swarm. Chris wasn’t so enthused.

The next weekend, we made our way to Cincinnati for Millie’s beauty pageant nationals. (More on this in its own blog post!) My friend Sarah stayed the week with us – the kids love it when she’s around. She reads books to them, does crafts with them, and brings them gifts. We spent some time at Mawmaw’s pool and with Lindsey at her brother’s pool; Millie and eventually Wells too, were jumping off the diving board!

I remember back to last summer thinking how Crosby would be walking by now and how different everything would be – but it wasn’t different. It felt just right. Every day is a gift. Every. Single. Day. If losing my sister (and my step-dad, and my cousin, and my grandma, and my friend) has taught me anything, it’s that we aren’t guaranteed anything. Writing these posts help me to not forget the gift I was given; time.

Baby

Mill Says the Darndest Things

by motheringmillieLeave a Comment on Mill Says the Darndest Things
Mill Says the Darndest Things

Millie was quick to speak. We quickly realized that we had to write down what she said and its context or else there would be no possible way we’d remember the adorable way she found her voice. At two and a half years old, Millie cracked us up by calling her socked feet, “awkward.” She’d use big words like hydrate, camouflage, and seriously. Here’s my attempt to capturing some of her cute “Millie-isms” throughout the years.

April 2021 My mom altered a picture of my grandma using a younger filter, “Millie does this picture look like MawMaw?”
Millie – “Not even.”

May 2021 Seeing roofers on the neighbors house, Millie – “Hey boys!”

Me – “Remember when you rode on that camels back? You were so brave!”
Millie – “No. I was definitely scared.”

Me – “You knocked over Mommy and Daddy’s wedding picture and you need to say you’re sorry.” Millie – “You’re the worst.”

June 2021 Watching the Kids Baking Championship, Millie – “Mommy, he is really a boy.”

Me singing, “I Like to Move it, Move it”, Millie – “No more of that stupid music!” (You were reprimanded for this)

Chris buckling Mill into her car seat, Millie – “You’re taking my life away!”

Millie and me watching a show about Koalas, Millie – “I’m sorry, her mom is not attractive.”

June 2021 After her first dentist appointment, Me – “I’m so proud of you.” Millie – “I’m proud of me, too.”

7/4/21 Watching fireworks with friends and Millie asked a 6 year old, “How old were you when you lost your first tooth?” He answered, “I haven’t lost any of my teeth yet.” (I was so impressed with her well worded question.)

I was singing along with music in the car. Millie – “Mommy, I hear two voices and I only want to hear one.”

July 2021 Aunt Mollie holding you across the hot sand at the beach, “I have to put you down now baby.” Millie – “I can’t walk forever.”

Millie – “Logan’s my boyfriend.” Me – “No honey, he’s your friend. You can’t start having boyfriends until you’re 16.” Millie – “Mommy, I’m 17 today.”

August 2021 Millie and Maw bought me a beautiful, pink hydrangea plant but it died while we we were on vacation. I planted the roots and continued to water the very dead looking plant. Millie would ask, “Is it dead?” every time we’d go outback. I would tell her that the roots were still good and if we’re lucky, the hydrangea would grow back. Weeks later, I saw some green leaves growing from the hydrangea. I turned off the hose, bent down, and showed Mill what water, sunshine, and love could do. Millie said, “Thank you for showing me this to me, mommy.”

Watching Peter Pan when the Dog Nana can’t fly to Neverland because she’s roped up. Millie says, “Well that’s disappointing.”

9/19/21 According to Millie, we’re only allowed to refer to Wells as, “Poom-pa”. He was her husband and was very resistant to her affection.

Me – “Are you gonna love your mama forever?” Mill – “You’re the best, you guess.”

Looking at a wedding picture of Chris and me, Millie asks, “Who was babysitting me at your wedding?”

Maw, “Amelia how long is the aquarium open? From when to when?” Millie said, “when to when.”

Painting Christmas decorations, Millie – “Mary, Jesus, and Jo-fiss.”

Millie going to the bathroom – Chris tried to give her a high five. She declined. Chris gave her a kiss. Mille, “I need a little privacy!” When she was finished, “I poop-did!”

12/22 Listening to Christmas music in the car and Deck the Halls changed from a major to a minor tonality. Millie – “This sounds like Christmas and Halloween! Like Santa turned into a warewolf!”

Mawmaw- “It’s cold in Minnesota.” Millie – “I would drink a cold mini soda!”

1/14/22 Me, dancing because I got the final jeopardy question right. Millie – “That’s bad. That’s so bad.”

Playing restaurant with Millie – “You make the food. You are the peasant. I am the rich lady.”

Me – “You can sit on my lap if you want.” Millie – “I would love to.”

Millie playing the piano – “This song is called Frozen, not Frozen from Frozen.”

Millie came home from ballet – “Hi, Wells. I’m back.” Wells looked over his shoulder and saw me, ran and yelled, “MAMA!” Millie – “He still loves me.”

Maw – “Millie, finish your corndog.” Mill – “I can’t. I’m Mexican. Mexicans don’t eat corn dogs.”

Her car seat was making a squeaky sound on the car leather. Mill – “I don’t like that sound. It makes me annoyed.”

Mia “I drew a potato in the story.” Me, “Why?”
Mia, “just for another character.”

March 2022 Chris singing all the words to Smashmouth’s, “All Star”. Millie – “Daddy, you’re just not cool”.

Millie – “Mommy, I have the rep-a-see on my phone” (she hold out her hand) “Two vegan eggs, butta, some chaulk-it chips. Do we have all of that?”

Millie holding a popcorn kernel – “If I plant this seed, it’ll turn into a popcorn tree.”

4/25/22 Mill and I playing Barbies – Mill, “Our parents are on vacation so that means I’m the boss.” Me, “Who made you the boss?” Millie, “Jesus. Now let’s go.”

5/4/22 Mill, “Mommy, at my next birthday I’m going to be six.” Me, “No, Mill. You’re going to be five. Can’t you just turn three again?” Mill, “No, Mommy. I can’t go back to where I’ve already been.”

5/19/22 Mill, “Daddy, will you blow up the poop bag?” Asking about the whoopie cushion!

6/19/2022 Me while cleaning the kitchen, “I don’t know why anyone would come over to our house a second time, it’s disgusting.” Millie, “Oh, it’s awful.”

7/6 Mill, trying to open a peanut shell with her fork, “See Mommy. It’s science.” Me, “Be careful, science.” Millie, “I’m not science, I’m curious!”

Mill, “Chicken, chicken, pizza dinner.” Chris, “Good try, honey. It’s actually, ‘winner, winner, chicken dinner.’” Mill, “I like pizza.”

Millie having an awesome day with her friend. “I love Maisey. She matches my mood.”

Cute words: Rep-a-see (recipe), ba-cholt-lay (chipotle), jo-fiss (Joseph), talkie-wakie (walkie-talkie), cockle-cockle-do (cockle-doodle-do), cal-a-pitter (caterpillar), ska-betty (spaghetti).

Millie at the Ohio State Fair, “That’s a big goat!” Me, “That’s a cow.”

8/1/22 Watching Master Chef Gordon Ramsey, “…without a shadow of a doubt.” Millie, “I have a shadow of a dog.” holding her stuffed animal, Fitz in the air, casting a shadow of him on the wall.

Millie to Wells after he threw a potato at her in the grocery cart, “Wells, you’re going to have a consequent”.

10/22 Chris, “Mia, do you have a cold?” Mill, “No, just the sniffles.” Chris, “Well, it is the season.” Mill, “Yeah, the astronauts.” Chris, “The what?” Mill, “The astronauts that come from Mars and bring all the germs.”

12/24/22 Millie to Wells – “If you’re not nice, Santa will put you on the naughty list.” Wells – “wandy wist” Mill – “The naughty list. Not the laundry list.”

Millie watching a commercial, “That man looks like a monkey, like a tangerine.” Me – “You mean an orangutan?” Millie, “yeeaaahh.”

Mill – “Snoop Soggy Dog!”

1/26/23 I was speaking to Chris about a contestant on a cooking show – “You know she’s only there because she’s a pretty blonde.” Millie – “She can’t see?!” Me – “That’s blind, honey. “

Chris and Millie playing tic-tac-toe, Millie – “Don’t go there.” Chris – “Hey, you can’t tell me where to go.” Millie -“Don’t try to block me!” Chris – “I’m not going to just let you win for free!” Millie – “Nooo, Jesus wants me to win!”

4/1/23 Me – “Mill, what’s your favorite thing about Wells?” Millie – “Nothing.” Me – “Come on, there has to be something you like about your brother.” Millie – “Yeah. I like his squeezey hugs.”

Mill singing, “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is down the stream.”

4/20/23 Millie got in trouble at school for talking while the teacher was talking. The teacher was going to separate the two for continuing to talk to each other. I said, “Mill, who were you sitting next to? Layla, Lucy, Taylor? Mill – “No, it was a boy. Hudson.” Me – “Okay, what were you talking about?” Mill – “He was telling me that he thinks I’m pretty.”

4/27/23 Wells was very emotional coming off his anesthesia from an eye procedure. He was kicking and hitting and it was hurting Millie’s feelings. Mill said – “The doctors erased his memory!”

4/28/23 Millie trying to explain a bunk bed to Wells. Millie- “It’s like two beds stuck together.” Wells – “What?” Mill – “Wells, it’s like two beds but together.” Wells – “What?” Millie – “Ugh. It’s hard to explain.”

5/4/23 Millie – “Good morning, sis-a-tens!” Chris – “It’s citizens.”

5/19/23 Getting ready to do a craft ; Me – “Millie, where are you?” Millie – “In the bathroom. Make sure Fitz (her stuffed dog) doesn’t chew on the candle!” Me – “Okay. Fitz, don’t chew on the candle.” Millie – “Fitz is a good dog Mommy, don’t tell him what to do!”

6/3/23 Chris and his dad took Millie and Wells to Home Depot to do a kids project. Millie, “I know what’s next.” Grandpa, “How do you know?” Millie, “Because I can see.”

6/10/23 At Taylor’s softball game Wells and Mill were playing in the dirt. Millie said, “Wells you watch me but do not irritate me.”

6/12/23 Millie came home from vacation Bible school and was like, “I learned about King Lewis!” We got an email like, “Today we learned about King Josiah.” she is so bad with names.

7/2/23 Millie eating pasta salad next to mawmaw, “I’m eating my appetite!”

7/8/23 Asking Millie to help me clean up the playroom, “I can’t. I’m calming down this raccoon.”

7/17/23 Waiting in the car for her dentist appointment, Chris, Millie, and Wells were singing Kidzbop songs. The song “Kings and Queens” came on, and Amelia goes, “Why do they raise their toes?” The song says “raise a toast”.

7/31/23 Chris was skipping rocks on the lake and Millie said, “Here Daddy! Skittle this rock!”

8/2/23 Wells was asleep on the couch and Millie said, “I like to snuggle him now because I can rub his ear and he won’t fight me.”

8/3/23 Watching soccer Millie says, “Daddy likes Mama-drid.” It’s Real Madrid.

9/29/23 Mill singing, “corn dog, corn bread, corn in your poop.”

10/5/23 Mill at Doughnuts for Dad at her school, a little girl asked what Chris’ name was. Mill said her name. The little girl said, “No, not your name, your Daddy’s name.” Millie says, “Oh, his name is Daddy.”

10/8/23 Wells was sick. Mill said, “I don’t want his whippy cough!”

11/20/23 I told the kids that they used to be scared of daddy dressed as Santa. Wells was adamant that he is scared of nothing; he stomps on monsters. Millie, “Wells! Don’t fight daddy Santa!”

12/6/23 Wells came with me to pick Millie up from school. Millie said, “What did you do today, Wells?” Wells said, “Watched hamster videos.” Millie said, “Was it the one where the hamster was going through the maze?” I said, “How did you know that, Mill?” Millie said, “Ugh. Wells has forced me to watch that before.”

12/14/23 I asked Millie if she remembered playing Blues Clues with me when she was three. She said, “Was it early in the morning?” I said, “Yeah – you were still in your jammies. How do you remember that?” Millie – “Sometimes I lock things in my head.”

12/23/23 At the Nutcracker I say, “Alright, it’s intermission”. Mill says, “That’s like…halftime?”

2/28/24 “I don’t want Wells to turn 4, he’s just gonna be more mean to me. He just wants to be the boss.”

3/25/24 Listening to the Hamilton Broadway music, “Why does Hamilton want to go to war? He’s so good at singing.”

4/5/24 “Please, pretty please. I’ll give you a kiss on the face if we don’t watch the Cubs.”

4/10/24 Mill and I were at the grocery store and she wanted to ride on Sandy the Pony. I didn’t have any change in my purse so I told her she could sit on the ride but it wouldn’t “go”. She walked over to the horse and found pennies sitting next to the ride. She was so excited and asked if she could use one. I agreed and she happily rode the pony ride. As I was putting the groceries into the trunk Mill said, “Mommy, can you let me into the car? I need to pray.” I said, “Sure, what about?” She said, “I want to say thank you to Jesus for that penny. We didn’t have one and he provided for us.” I said, “You know what? That’s a great idea. I’m going to thank him for providing us with a trunk full of groceries.” (I also thanked him for her.)

4/22/24 Millie was the “big spoon” laying next to her daddy at the hotel. She was scratching his head and saying, “shhhh, shhhh”.

5/10/24 Millie to her fishing hook: “You were supposed to go far and get mama a big one!”

5/17/14 We were all ice-skating and Millie said to her daddy, “Your feet are so beautiful!”

5/18/24 When Millie was ending her 3rd ballet season, her instructor, Ms. Angel said they were getting an award of “achievement” and Millie said, “You said cheese?”

5/25/24 While visiting JMU, Millie said, “Daddy, why is this road so heavy?” She was walking up a hill.

6/2/24 Mill was taking a video of her baby brother for her “sus-scri-vers” on the tablet. I heard her say, “Give a like and I’ll show you his new molar!”

7/15/24 “I can’t play that goodly.” Losing at Uno.

7/22/24 Passing the time, coming home from Chicago, Mill- “Knock knock.” Chris, “Who’s there?” Mill (perfectly in time, lets out a huge sneeze): achoo!

8/11/24 Playing volleyball in the pool, “Scootered me over there!”

9/21/24 “Crosby bless-you’d on his food and then he ate it.”

9/27/24 Millie playing hand clapping games with Maw, “Oh, you’re so bad at this.”

10/5/24 Mill and I were discussing her previous birthday party themes in the car, on the way to ballet. I said, “Man, your Barbie birthday was awesome.” Millie said, “Except the drinks were trash.”

11/2/24 Talking about OSU needing to win their game, Millie said, “It’s not fair that one team wins and one team loses.” Chris said, “That is fair. The better team deserves to win.” Mill said, “The football-illians need to decide that both teams can win.”

11/25/24 Watching Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving Millie said, “They call him Chuck. Why?! His name is Charlie Brown!”

12/30/24 Mill was struggling out on the skating rink and she said, “Help me, Mommy! I want to go back on land!”

1/3/25 Leaving Walmart and seeing 6 cops arresting people by the entrance, Millie waves from the back seat and says, “Bye, criminals!”

1/16/25 Driving home after picking Mill up from school Mill says, “If I close my eyes, Crosby smells like a pasta noodle.”

1/23/25 Chris asking Mill how her day was, “Chloe and Lettie are always walking in gym instead of running. And the diabetes girl.”

2/7/25 Mill couldn’t remember what to call the custodian so she called him, “the spill taker”.

4/7/25 Wells was brushing my hair and got it in a tangled mess. Millie said, “ Wells, you put a really big number on this brush.“

5/9/25 We were eating at Roosters and the waitress brought me my veggie sub. Millie asked, “Mommy, is that salad on toast?”

8/15/25 Watching the Tiny Chef Show, I asked, “What’s that fuzzy thing?” Mill said, “That’s his pet. It’s a cat-a-pillar”

9/16/25 Driving home from tennis class, Mill told me she was embarrassed by what a boy behind her said; he asked her, “Are you wearing pink underwear?” Now, Mills skirt was a little big on her but I reassured her that seeing her underwear was better than seeing her butt cheeks. She said, “It’s just weird because he’s a stranger.” I told her, “Don’t worry honey, we won’t wear that skirt for a while.” She said, “So I can get to know him more?” Said, “No! So you can grow into your skirt!”

9/16/25 Watching Dancing with the Stars, Chris said, “I think my song anthem would be living on a prayer.” Millie said, “You mean living on a prairie?”

Baby

Kindergarten Year

Featuredby motheringmillieLeave a Comment on Kindergarten Year
Kindergarten Year

Every May starts the count down to summer break (obviously the best part of the job) but not this year. This year, summer break meant Millie would be done with kindergarten and I just could not fathom my baby graduating kindergarten – no way.

Chris would drop Millie off at school before starting work everyday. Kindergarteners had a special drop off location, closer to their classrooms. Mill would always have her backpack with her daily folder (Ariel with her “shell phone”) a book to read, and her granola bar snack. We packed her lunch everyday; pasta salad was her favorite. We weren’t allowed to send her to school with a water bottle because too many kids were spilling them however, she wasn’t drinking the schools water because she said, “The school water tastes yucky”. We got permission for her to bring a tightly lidded water bottle to school; her water intake increased dramatically.

Chris worked from home on Mondays and Fridays and would pick up Millie from school (This was helpful because of my staff meetings after school on Mondays). We were fortunate that her administration agreed to let us pick her up with the 1st-4th grade car-rider line from 3:20-3:40pm. Mill was always the smallest amongst the other students. I was always surprised to see who she was talking to, waiting for the car to pull up. She loved being able to talk to her kindergarten friends’ older siblings. She’d get in the car and say, “Hi, Mommy!” She was always ready to tell me about her day; what color she was on, who did what at recess, and what they did during specials.

At Mills first parent-teacher conference, I noticed how clean and organized her desk was compared to others. The teacher informed me that she sat Mill next to a boy who’d been having a lot of difficulty. She said she did this because Mill was kinda bossy and the boy could use another boss. (That child ended up getting the “boot” before Christmas break.) I was surprised to learn that her class had been praying for my boys and for God to rid them of IFAP syndrome (she even told them her brothers had no eyebrows). Her teacher let me know that Mill had asked for prayer for them and I just started to cry; she has a heart of gold.

Mill had friends in her class and friends in other kindergarten classes, too. One of her school friends was actually a classmate of hers from BalletMet and she knew another girl from Sunday School. Millie was invited to a number of birthday parties throughout the year. When it was her birthday, we brought in cupcakes for everyone. (I loved being able to do this for her because when I was in grade school, I never was able to because of my summer birthday.) When other classmates had birthdays, we had given her teacher a bag full of vegan goodies Mill could enjoy while others were eating treats with dairy. When she had an Easter jelly bean sorting activity, her teacher reached out to me asking which brands of jelly beans were gelatin-free. They were great with her food allergies.

I did go into “crazy mom” mode after receiving Millie’s first grade card. She was getting threes and fours in each subject except music. In my area of expertise, she was getting a two. A two?! (two is considered “developing”) I emailed the music teacher who explained to me that all the kindergarten students get a two before they put on their Christmas pageant. I did not think this was fair. It was blanket grading for a school we pay a lot of money for. I was upset that the teacher could not provide grades for the standards that I knew darn well she should be teaching. I also knew that Millie had mastered all of the Ohio music standards through second grade. Developing – no way. Not to mention she was bringing home the “Star Singer” award every week. The rest of the year she got 3s and 4s in music. I’m still pretty irritated about it.

I never had to fight Mill to do her homework. She always enjoyed completing her math pages. A couple times, Chris and I actually struggled on questions regarding a birds direction on a branch and which order they were in (already struggling to help with homework lol). Every month she completed her reading assignment called, Reado. It was like a bingo card with different book suggestions. When she tuned them in, she received little prizes and at the end of the year she got a special t-shirt that she could wear on Wednesdays during the last month of school (keeping track of this shirt was easier said than done).

Millie participated in everyday of spirit week. On “80’s Day” the students could dress in 1980’s fashion or like they were 80 years old; Mill was the only one in her class that dressed like an old woman! I loved it. She had her hair in a bun, wore a pair of glasses from her dress-up bin, and a tucked in, chunky sweater. She dressed up as Cindy Lou for “Dress like a Christmas Character Day”. Chris was impressed with how I did her hair; up on the top of her head with an empty water bottle. Mawmaw crafted a snowman outfit for Mill with big black buttons for “Dress Like a Snowman Day”. For “Dress Like Your Favorite Book Character Day”, Mill wanted to be Amelia Bedelia. She dressed just like her with a red cardigan and a flower headband. I photoshopped Millie into a page of the book – her librarian loved it so much she printed out the picture and hung it on the library bulletin board.

Her class did not go on any field trips but they did have fun “on-campus” activities throughout the year. The pumpkin patch came to their school in the fall and Mill got to pick out her own pumpkin – this turned out devastating for Millie because another student took home her pumpkin and she had to take home a pumpkin that she didn’t choose. Millie was given twenty dollars to spend at the book fair and she bought a book for herself and to my surprise, a book for her brother (a book about the movie Elemental). She made paper flowers with her prayer buddy and took them over to the senior living facility. Millie said her craft was falling apart because she didn’t use enough glue but it did have rainbow petals so that made it all better. They also had a, “Teddy Bear Picnic” where they brought a blanket and teddy stuffy to school and got to eat their lunch outside. They learned the song, “Teddy Bear Picnic” and got to take a picture of all their bears. Millie took in an extra bear stuffy for a student who didn’t have one (completely her doing). His mom reached out to me later and thanked me for her kindness.

Millie’s senior prayer buddy is a dream. She was so fortunate to be paired with such a kind senior. Kennedy took pictures with Millie at the senior night football game (Mill did an afterschool, cheer leading camp for a week and then got to cheer at the high school football game.) She came to Mill’s 6 year-old Barbie birthday party and brought a gift, she crafted Mill’s Valentine’s Day card box with her even though she was absent the day the class made them (Millie had perfect attendance all year until she dropped the tablet on her toe and needed x-rays and a boot. She told her teachers, “It was disappointing and expensive!”). Kennedy would help her on the monkey bars at recess. She would also send me pictures of them together when they’d meet during school. Kennedy even went to the Kindergarten Graduation and gave Mill a Barbie and bouquet of flowers! I have a feeling we’ll keep in contact with this sweet, young lady.

The school was so great about inviting the families into the building and hosting events. This is such a great way to build community. The grandparents were invited to a special vocal performance for Grandparents Day. I took a half-day off of work and attended her Christmas Chapel – Millie sat next to her senior buddy, Kennedy and I sat in the wing so I could see her. She was wearing her plaid, Christmas dress and Maryjanes. The pastor gave a sermon on making memories at Christmas time and how his family drank chocolate milkshakes every year while his dad read, “T’was the Night Before Christmas.” We tried doing this too but neither kid liked the milkshake.

“And she gave birth to a baby boy.” was Millie’s solo speaking part during the Christmas program. She walked up to the mic and spoke that line in front of hundreds of people. We were so proud of her. The spring musical was about summer camp and bugs. We enjoyed going to the Fine Arts Night; we made a Pigeon cake for the library fundraiser (I don’t know how I did it. I made this cake after an 8-hour car ride and it was my first time working with fondant.) We ended up buying the cake back and winning a piece of pottery. Mill loved showing us her art pieces hanging in the hallway. She painted a walrus and a self portrait. I accompanied Millie to Muffins for Mom (the muffins were small so I gave mine to her) and Chris went to Doughnuts for Dad. There was a Daddy/Daughter dance in March; check out Chris’ post for the details of that event. Finally, we all attended Mill’s Kindergarten Graduation where she sang songs, received her diploma from her teacher, and officially became a first grader.

The school sent home embroidered, graduation gowns for the kids to wear and take pictures in before the graduation, which happened at night, and the gowns had to be returned immediately after the ceremony. Because of this, we threw Mill a party before the graduation ceremony, with pizza and cake and invited the whole family to come and take pictures. I set out her artwork, binder of school papers I kept throughout the year, and her student of the month certificate (Mill didn’t even tell us about this award! When Chris took Millie to Easter service practice, another teacher saw them in the hallway and congratulated her on her student of the month award. We were so proud of her! She was awarded on her diligent faith). I crafted Millie a pair of sunglasses that said, “K Grad”. She received cards with money and new books.

I read this post to Millie and asked if she thought it was any good and she respond, “I think you should write it all over again.” Rude.

Baby

Atlanta

Featuredby motheringmillieLeave a Comment on Atlanta
Atlanta

Wells absolutely loves aquariums; he is obsessed with sharks and has been for years. After watching “The Aquarium” on Disney+, I knew we had to take him to Atlanta to see the Georgia Aquarium. Chris had zero interest in a trip to Georgia so I had to a bit of convincing to get him on board.

My key points:

Atlanta is less than an eight hour drive; if we left before breakfast, we could be there by dinner.

We had a goal before Millie was born to take her to as many states as possible before her 18th birthday and none of us had ever experienced GA (other than flight layovers).

There is more to do than just the Aquarium, (which btw is no. 1 in the nation) Olympic Park, a Children’s Museum, the Chattahoochee River, The Coca Cola Museum, etc…

Basically, he wasn’t thrilled about the trip to Atlanta but he surely didn’t want to be left behind. Spring break 2024 was when we booked our trip. Wells counted down the days until our vacation. “Saturday, Sunday, A-wanta!”

Chris’ grandfather was in poor health, had fallen, and was hospitalized two days before our trip to Atlanta. Grandpa was unresponsive when we left. Unfortunately, while we were driving to Georgia, he passed away. I read chapters of his memoir out loud while Chris drove into the night. There was a full moon. It was a very tearful drive.

We didn’t know we had entered the state of Georgia until we stopped at a rest stop and the floor mat said, “Welcome to Georgia, Y’all!” We needed gas so we stopped at the infamous, “Buck-ees” and we were amazed at the store. There were beavers everywhere; on bathing suits, hats, tee-shirts, fanny packs, athletic shorts, travel pillows, even onesies. Crosby was not thrilled about being placed in a pile of Buck-ee stuffies for a photo op. The workers yelled encouraging call-and-response anecdotes to each other working behind the counters. Chris was super impressed with his veggie burrito.

The Atlanta skyline was so bright and long; the city seemed like it went on forever. Our hotel was right off the freeway and our room faced the Georgia Aquarium’s parking deck that had a huge image of a whale shark. Wells was disappointed that we weren’t going to the aquarium right then (it was after 9pm).

The hotel room had a sliding door to the bathroom and Mill pinched her finger; thankfully, the ice machine down the hall fixed the tears. Millie and Wells slept on the hide-away bed with lots of extra pillows. We watched an episode of Bluey, the kids requested it and even though we explained we didn’t have streaming on the hotel TV and couldn’t guarantee Bluey was going to be playing, it indeed was. Our point was mute and they still don’t understand cable television.

We woke up and ate the complimentary hotel breakfast; nothing special but the bigs liked going down with Daddy to get the food (although Chris said Wells was more of a hindrance than a help). We loaded up the double stroller, that has a platform on the back for Mill to stand on, and left for the Atlanta Children’s Museum just a few blocks away. I guess I assumed since I was on spring break, everyone else was too however, there were many elementary field trip groups at the Children’s Museum so we had to navigate through lots of kids, teachers, and parents. Millie and Wells enjoyed painting on the walls, doing nature yoga (Wells broke out of his pose to dance and Mill all but tackled him down to the ground and said he was embarrassing her.) Millie and Chris built a butterfly house together out of recycled materials, and Wells dug for fossils in the sand. Crosby and I hung out in the baby section crawling around and watching the big kids play.

Thankfully, I struck up a conversation with a mom in the baby section about the Georgia Aquarium and how that was our next adventure. She mentioned that she and her daughter were there the day before and the dolphin show was their favorite part. She showed me how to reserve tickets for the dolphin show, which proved to be amazing. It was fully reserved by the time we arrived so I was grateful for the advice.

After the kids had tried all the things at the Children’s Museum, we walked through Olympic park to get to the Georgia Aquarium. Along the way, we stopped at a playground for the kids to climb and enjoy the fresh air. Crosby liked crawling in the tube. It was drizzling and Millie slipped trying to climb on the equipment; thankfully, she wasn’t hurt. Once the rain started to pick up, we made our way to our next destination.

Entering the aquarium looked like an atrium of a shopping mall and it was crowded. We were all hungry so the first thing we did was order lunch at the cafe; they had a delicious, vegan burger and fries. The dining area was super busy but we were able to find a table in the back corner so I could nurse Crosby inconspicuously. A family was waiting for our table while we were wrapping up our meal so we quickly cleaned up and went exploring. We checked out some crocodiles and frogs and passed a window that showed the top of the largest tank in the aquarium. It was the first time we saw a whale shark and it was amazing; the size of the fish was unreal.

When it was time for our scheduled dolphin show, we, as well as hundreds of other people, were escorted into a large theater where instead of a stage, was a large tank. We found seats close to the front but upon closer inspection the back of the chairs read, “soak zone”. We prepared the kids for the inevitable dolphin splash as best as we could however, Millie was freaking out about it. She was bringing up getting splashed every ten seconds (maybe every 8 seconds) When the dolphins swam and jumped high into the air, they were spectacular. The trainers said that dolphins feel like wet hotdogs and that stuck with Wells. Of course, we got soaked by the flick of a dolphins tail; Crosby cried but the big kids thought it was funny. It was a fin-tastic show (Chris would appreciate the pun.)

After the dolphin show, we went to see the crown jewel of the Georgia Aquarium, the Ocean Voyager exhibit. This tank has over six-millions gallons of water and home to not one, but two whale sharks! This aquarium was breathtaking. I truly do not have the words to describe how it felt to look under the oceans surface. The manta ray was majestic. The rare, beaked stingrays were fascinating. But the whale sharks stole the show; their size, their spotted backs, and their wide mouths were just outstanding. We could have sat at this exhibit all day; we watched the fish for a long time while Crosby got out of the stroller and crawled around.

I gave Wells my phone and let him take pictures. He said, “You have to send those to Aunt Mollie right now.” We had visited our Aunt Mollie just two weeks prior to this trip when she was placed in hospice care and she told Wells how much she loved the ocean and sea turtles. It was so sweet that Wells remembered that on his own and wanted her to experience the aquarium too.

We explored the Arctic exhibit and it was the first time we saw beluga whales! (Raffi’s Baby Beluga song is one that I would sing to the kids). The whales were so entertaining; it was cool to see them in real life after watching them on TV. The four belugas took turns swimming toward the glass, flipping and swimming upside down. Their body shape and muscle structure looked so interesting – Chris said it looked like a person in a white suit swimming around. They looked so happy to be swimming together.

The shark tank was absolutely terrifying. There were 19+ sharks swimming around including giant hammerheads swimming in tanks above our heads. Wells was watching the sharks when he let out a loud fart. I was so embarrassed and of course everyone around us just chuckled, including Wells. Chris pulled him aside and told him that wasn’t polite. We checked out the coral reef tank that held really beautiful, colorful fish. We ended our aquarium adventure at the gift shop where we let each babe pick out a stuffy; Millie chose a purple, sparkly dolphin, Wells picked a blue, tiger-striped shark, and we got a whale shark, “Yushawn” for Crosby. I picked out a Christmas ornament and $500 dollars later (not actually 500 but a lot of money was spent) we left the Georgia Aquarium and headed back to our hotel.

We napped at the hotel and when we woke up, we were all hungry. We checked out this completely vegan restaurant called, Cafe Sunflower in Buckhead- maybe a 15 minute drive from our hotel. The area was super “hip” and we were so impressed by the menu options. Chris and I couldn’t believe we could eat everything on the menu; we felt normal for once! We got potstickers and brussel sprouts for appetizers – delicious. Wells ordered noodles, Millie had a cheese quesadilla, Chris had sesame chick’n, and I had chick’n parm. The food was unbelievable. The kids were well behaved during dinner; we played Micky Mouse on the phone for Crosby. For dessert, Chris and the kids ate a decadent chocolate cake (Wells and Mill practically licked the plate) and I ordered the carrot cake. We told the host, which happened to be the owner, that it was the best dinner we’ve had in six years. He said, “Every culture has vegan dishes, I just put them all on one menu.” We were so impressed.

When we went back to the hotel, the bar was showing the Ohio State vs Georgia men’s basketball game on the big screen. The game was in Columbus and here we were in GA, but there were other Buckeye fans at the bar. The Buckeyes took a loss but we struck up a conversation with the bartender who took a liking to the kids and she gave us some suggestions of fun things to do with them in Atlanta.

We took her advice and went to the Museum of Illusion the next morning. The museum was on the second floor of an outdoor shopping mall; it was a beautiful location. Educators got in the museum for free and both kids were under age limit for a ticket so we were able to experience this activity for the cost of Chris’ admission (everything’s expensive so it was nice to get a cost break). We walked through the exhibits and took pictures in different poses. The kids really liked the peg board that you could imprint your body behind and it would show up on the front side. They tried to spell out O-H-I-O but Millie’s belly got poked and it actually broke the skin.

We ate lunch at the mall but of course everyone wanted different things; I made a delicious salad at Salata, Chris got Indian food, and the kids got Asian noodles. We ate outside at a picnic table. Wells picked a beautiful flower for me from a nearby bush. We stumbled upon a “fairy door” heading back to our car, which we found out were placed all around Atlanta. You scanned the QR code next to the small door and Instagram showed you what it would look like to “open” the door. This door had bright butterflies flying out. Millie loved this and as luck would have it, we’d find two more doors on our trip.

Thankfully, our Columbus Zoo membership has reciprocity at many other zoos in the nation and the Atlanta Zoo was one of them. It only cost us $36 dollars for our family to get in. We saw a baby rhino (we participated in a naming bracket for weeks post-visit and our favorite name was chosen, Zuri!) and met a family from Miami vacationing in Atlanta to get away from the “spring-breakers”. We saw African elephants (we have only ever seen Asian elephants) their ears were much larger and they were more orange in color versus the grey we were used to seeing. We saw the biggest owls we have ever seen; they were as tall as my leg. There was an awesome jungle- gym play area that the kids got to explore. We were too late for the rope obstacle course but maybe next time we visit we can add that to our adventure list.

Our highlight of the zoo was seeing the pandas. There were three that we could see and two were awake! Yang-Yang, the oldest panda at 27, had an orange tint to his back. The keepers explained it was because he loves the taste and smell of hot sauce so sometimes they give him some and he rolls around in it. Wells and Mill both got little panda stuffies that hugged a lollipop (Millie’s is now affixed to her backpack strap – the stuffy, not the lollipop).

When we were viewing the giraffes, Wells realized he had forgotten his sunglasses in a pretend birds nest in the bird enclosure we had just left. Wells and I raced back to the exhibit and unfortunately, his glasses weren’t there. I said, “Sorry bud, someone must have picked them up.” And a man with his son who was standing behind us said, “Are these what you’re looking for?” Wells was so happy to have his sunglasses back – the little boy who found them was not so happy to give them back.

We stopped to rest on a bench so I could feed Crosby and a large carpenter bee kept hovering over us. Chris was irritated with it and he swatted it out of the sky with his hand. The bee fell to the ground, we presumed it died, and the kids thought it was hysterical. Then, we were all freaked out because after we had a good laugh, the bee was gone!

We left the Atlanta Zoo and took a walk through Olympic park. The kids played duck, duck, goose with a group of kids outside the Coca-Cola museum. Wells’ laugh was incredible. We were proud of our kids for picking each other during the game so that neither one felt left out. Mill proceeded to tell another mom how she thought she had pink eye (she didn’t, she was just oversharing).

We continued our adventure to the fountains and watched as a lady posed to take pictures inside the water display. When the water went down, Wells ran into the fountain and copied the lady’s poses. It was fantastic; even the lady laughed. Millie wanted to get into the fountain so we told her that when the water went down, she was to run in so she didn’t get wet. Of course, Mill and Wells ran at the same time and collided into each other. They got soaked when they were laid out on the pavement and the fountains splashed back up. No one was hurt but they were both wet and cold.

We could’ve turned around and went back to the hotel but we were hungry and weren’t ready for the night to end. The Atlanta Margaritaville was .1 miles away. I got the bigs new, dry shirts and Crosby a mimicking parrot from the gift shop. The kids ate French fries and veggies (not a whole lot for us to eat there) and Chris had black bean tacos. We all got colorful drinks and took fun pictures. We were absolutely exhausted walking back to the hotel; Crosby fell asleep in the stroller.

The next morning we packed up the jeep (we would be staying at a different hotel that night) and headed to the Georgia Museum of Natural History. The humongous dinosaur skeletons in the atrium were outstanding. In the spider exhibit, the bigs enjoyed playing a large, bug eating game similar to Hungry, Hungry, Hippos. They were talking so encouraging to each other it made my mama heart happy.

We saw an amazing seashell exhibit and Millie found some shells she just knew were assembled by mermaids. I tried to put Crosby in a 300lb clam shell for a quick pic but Chris would not let me. Anytime Crosby saw a taxidermied animal he’d say, “og” really loud. I’m pretty sure he was trying to say dog and it was adorable. The kids loved the outdoor playground and elevated pathways. While the kids played, I struck up a conversation with another mom who told me about other adventures we could explore the next time we go to Georgia; the Lego museum, the balloon museum, and the ventriloquist museum (probably would skip that one). Once bigger kids started taking over the playground, we continued on our way.

Along the path, we found another fairy door and when you scanned this one, dinosaurs walked out. There was an obstacle course with climbing parts that the bigs went through with Chris (he had to turn around when he found he couldn’t fit through the tunnel). Before we left the Natural History Museum, we stopped at the gift shop and found swords on sale (what luck!) so we bought two in preparation for that nights activity, Medieval Times. Heading back to the car I asked the kids, “If we come back to Georgia, who should we bring with us?” Wells quickly replied, “Definitely Grandma”.

We checked into our hotel room and took a nap before the show. The outside of Medieval Times looked just like a castle even though it was attached to a shopping mall. The woman at the ticket counter sat us in the “yellow knights” section and Chris asked her if it was okay to switch us to the “blue” knight for Wells; she said the seats would be further up but we didn’t care. Wells wouldn’t have accepted any other color but blue and Millie was okay with it because pink wasn’t an option.

Wells was devastated that his sword that we bought from the museum did not light up like the swords they were selling at Medieval Times. As we waited to be seated, we got the kids water in light up cups that looked that a castle tower but the lights ended up being too bright for Wells’ eyes. Chris and I were both irritated with how often people walked around trying to sell us things for the kids; roses, swords, light up wands, etc. (of course the kids wanted everything and had mini meltdowns every time we said no).

The vegan options at Medical Times were delicious; hummus plate, corn on the cob, bean soup, and Italian ice. The kids enjoyed watching the horses, the swords spark when the knights fought, but their favorite part was the falcon flight around the theatre. The blue knight did not win but Wells didn’t seem to mind. Chris was so happy the kids were into it – this was his addition for the trip. As we were leaving, we checked out the picture they took of our family and to my surprise, it was awesome (it can be difficult getting three kids to look in the same direction) so we bought the picture as a souvenir.

The next morning, we packed up our things and ate Dunkin’ Doughnuts for breakfast. Our final stop was the Chattahoochee River. We had been singing, “Way down yonder at the Chattahoochee” for weeks before our trip (the lyrics are pretty inappropriate, we didn’t let the kids listen to the actual song, just our ‘made up’ version). Crosby was asleep by the time we arrived so Chris stayed in the car with him while I got the bigs into their rain boots and experienced the “muddy water”.

The kids danced and jumped in the water. We laughed when I had to dump half the river out of Wells’ rain boots. The kids laughed when I said, “You have the Chattahoochee in your boots!” We saw people in row boats, ducks, people walking their dogs, and others eating lunch by the water. We walked down to a dock and walked the length of it. The water was really high and fast moving. Millie wanted to walk back through the water and while she was trying to step over a tree root she fell into the Chattahoochee. Thankfully, I was able to grab her up quickly and she wasn’t hurt, just soaked. We changed Wells’ socks and Mills entire outfit before getting back on the road.

The ride through Georgia was stunning, which was nice while we sat in the notorious Atlanta traffic. Purple wisteria was in bloom all through the trees along the highway. I was stabbed in my head, neck, and shoulders many times by the swords of my knights from the backseat. Wells said, “I wish we could live here.” I told him that, that was a sign of a good trip; when you don’t want to leave. We have plenty more exploring to do in Georgia and will definitely be vacationing back there again.

Baby

Summer of 23

by motheringmillieLeave a Comment on Summer of 23
Summer of 23

Maternity leave with Crosby rolled into summer break. I printed off a checklist I found on Pinterest of fun ideas to make this summer enjoyable for the kids.

Beautiful dancing, colors, and music at the Asian Festival commenced our summer. We heard a guzheng performance, saw dragon kites, and ate lo mein noodles. We watched a Tai Chi studio performance; the movements were so fluid and mesmerizing. Millie danced with an Asian exercise dance group; Wells started to but quickly found his way back to holding my hand. Both kids got their faces painted for the first time; Mill got a rainbow arching from her forehead down her cheek and Wells got a Spider-Man web. He wasn’t thrilled that the artist was touching his face but he was happy when he looked in the mirror. They both colored Japanese opera masks and painted cherry blossoms using the bottom of a coke bottle. I bought an umbrella tree bonsai plant that Mill named Bonsai Bonsai the Bonsai.

During our first week together, we painted rocks for the garden; we painted a lemon slice, a rainbow, and a purple rock that said, brave. Millie and Wells both helped me in the kitchen; Mill helped by chopping vegetables for dinner and Wells helped by putting parmesan cheese on the garlic bread and dividing salad into bowls (not for him though because Wells doesn’t like salad).

We went to the library to register for the summer reading program and to see a children’s comedian, Mike Hemmelgarn. During his performance, Mr. Hemmelgarn juggled balls, performed magic tricks, and told jokes with balloons and puppets. Wells’ favorite part was when the skunk puppet sprayed (squirt gun) and Mill’s favorite part was when Mr. Hemmelgarn drew a face on a dry erase board and that face became a moving puppet!

After the show, Millie and Wells played with legos while I picked out some books; a ballerina book for Mill, a shark dog book for Wells, and a book called, Saying Goodbye to Lulu (we’re getting ready to have to say goodbye to my family dog, Brandy). I heard Wells say, “Mommy? Mommy?” We had to leave the library early because Wells had an accident. I was proud of him though, for telling me, and that he mostly held himself all the way across the library until we got to the bathroom.

Once it was officially strawberry pickin’ season, we took our buckets and went to the fields. My friend from work, Madison met us there. Wells would pick a berry, take a bite, and chuck it as far as he could throw. If he wanted to keep the berry, he’d toss it into the bucket and yell, “goal!” Crosby was perfectly content in the carrier, even as I bent down to pick berries. The strawberries were delicious and we shared them with my mom and maw.

We had a fun day swimming at Maw’s pool. It didn’t get warmer than 75 degrees but the kids swam until their lips turned purple. Wells hit the weight requirement for his puddle jumper (it’s blue with a shark on it) but he won’t trust the float. My mom held him in the pool all the while wearing the puddle jumper. Millie swam all around with her puddle jumper on and even floated on her back. Wells tried jumping into the baby pool but the bottom was incredibly slippery (last year Maw slipped when getting into it). He landed his jump but his feet slid from under him. He hit his head on the edge of the baby pool and we watched for concussion symptoms all night.

Millie had no interest in Taylor’s (my step-mom’s, granddaughter’s) softball game. Instead of watching, Millie spelled her name in the dirt with little sticks. Wells found larger sticks and played, “swords” with whoever would swing them around. After the game, we went to the Columbus Arts Festival and got the kids snow cones, pretzels, and lemonade. Millie saw her dance teacher and spun the prize wheel at her company’s stand. She won free tickets to the Nutcracker! Both kids rolled down the hill by the river with my dad. It was a good day.

Week two of summer vacation started off rainy. We played board games; Hi Ho Cherry-o and Candy Land. Millie started VBS at our church, that was cowboy themed, so I got her a new pair of boots to wear. She was so happy to see many of her friends from school. Each day they read scripture and prayed about trusting God in difficult situations. On her last day of VBS, Chris asked her what she learned and she said, “A lot and nothing.” VBS family night included songs (and dances) of praise, bounce houses, and a petting zoo that had a zebra. Millie was not scared to go down the big, blowup slide. The kids met a police officer and sat in the driver’s seat of a cruiser. My favorite part of the night was Wells doing the “cowboy dance” in the middle of the aisle. It was awesome to see both kids having fun while worshipping the Lord.

Wells continued to go to speech therapy twice a week. Since Crosby’s birth, in March, Chris has been taking Wells to his speech appointments. Wells is working on the f, c, s, sh, g, and t sounds. The toughest part of therapy is making sure Wells doesn’t fall asleep on the car ride there! When he wakes up from his car nap, he is not happy and the first ten minutes of therapy are useless. His therapist, Jody suggested that we only have appointments once a week instead of our usual twice a week. I was not keen to this notion as aggressive speech therapy is the best way to help with his Apraxia. People who hear Wells speak, continue to praise him for his hard work and how well he is sounding.

Millie received a birthday party invite from a friend in her pre-k class. It was held at the play place at our church. It was very much a “little girls” party; pink, sparkly, unicorns and rainbows. When a new girl would come through the door, the girls would run, scream, and hug each other. Millie wanted me to go with her in the play area but my gosh, it smelled like dirty feet. Still, I gratefully followed her because one day, she might not want mom to be there with her at parties.

On the same day that Millie had her friend’s birthday party, we had our cousin Lily’s 7th birthday celebration at Chuck E. Cheese. This was the first time my kids had ever been there and the first time Chris or I had been in over 20 years. There wasn’t a ball pit or jungle gym like we remembered; it was completely modernized with Kidz Bop projected on the wall and swipe cards instead of tokens. Millie and Wells played shooting games, rode on a small carousel, got into a machine that dumped balls on their heads, and rolled a ball that made a monkey eat bananas. Wells’ favorite part was the shark projected on the floor; he ran around trying to stomp on the fish. Millie ate three pieces of pizza with the cheese off. Both kids had a great time.

We rarely make it over to the East side of town so after the birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, we took the kids to the outdoor mall. They were impressed with the life-sized, Lego giraffe and Lego Barbie creations. They both laughed when the stone frogs would spit water in the outdoor fountain. Wells wanted to take the coins out (he almost fell in). We took Millie to the American Girl store and she was so excited. Chris didn’t like being there however, my inner child was just as excited as Mill. She knew exactly what she wanted to get – the bitty, bitty baby from the Christmas catalog. She got the baby and a new pair of shoes for her doll, Kit.

After treating Millie, we went to Build-A-Bear for Wells. He had never been before. He chose a great white shark with a huge head. He threw it on the ground; mad. He said, “It’s flat!” He didn’t understand that he was going to get to stuff it. We looked through the different sound bites but we landed on puppy noises so that he could be, Shark-dog. We’ve been reading the Sharkdog books from the library. Chris and I were so impressed that the lady helping with the stuffing understood Wells when he said and spelled his name. Millie and Wells both put hearts in Sharkdog. The joy on Wells’ face was everything.

The weekend before Father’s Day, Chris and his dad took Millie and Wells to Home Depot to do a Kids Workshop activity. They wore orange aprons, painted, and had a lot of fun assembling table top putting greens. (During which I got some quiet, alone time with Crosby.) For Father’s Day, Millie gave Chris a mug that she picked out that said, “Dad Joke Pro” and he loved it. We went to church and the kids danced in the Praise House to the Cowboy Dance song; Wells is obsessed and his lasso moves are the best. After church, we spent the day with Chris’ parents, watching the Navy’s Blue Angels fly right above the rooftop. The Air Show was held in Columbus for the first time in over two decades and you could see the flights from my in-laws house. Neither kid was particularly interested in the air show; they were busy playing with badminton rackets. We ate a dairy-free, chocolate cake that Millie helped me bake and the kids fell asleep on the car ride home.

It rained everyday for the remainder of June. We did in-door activities to pass the time. We decorated cookies; Wells decorated blue dinosaurs and Millie decorated pink, sparkly tiaras. They were both most interested in eating the sprinkles. We created pictures using dot stickers, played with sensory bins (cornflakes and construction vehicles), sent cards to family members, built houses with magnet tiles, and read lots of books.

The kids were so excited to have a getaway weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. We planned to show them the Arc Encounter, the Newport Aquarium, and the Cincinnati Zoo. Unfortunately, the night before we were set to leave, Wells threw up and had diarrhea. I was really worried because his vomit was black and everything I found on Google said that could be a sign of internal bleeding. I called the pediatrician in the morning and she reassured me that the color was because of the amount of black food he ate (Oreo-O’s, black beans, Oreo cookies). She said that his symptoms sounded like a gastro-virus that would run it’s course within 72 hours.

Even though Wells was feeling under the weather, he still wanted to go on the trip. We packed up my in-laws new Expedition and drove to Kentucky. During the car ride, we found that Bob Marley’s, Three Little Birds, soothed Crosby when he would fuss; it was instantaneous. Millie practiced her sight words with Grandma in the third row. Wells slept.

At the Ark Encounter, the kids were scared of the sounds inside the exhibit and they did not want to look at the wax animals. Their favorite part was the playground. Wells said, “Thank you, Mommy for taking me here.” He led me through a maze, we raced, and we went on the see-saw together. I was super proud of Millie because she went on both zip-line rides (something she was too scared to try last year). Wells stayed hydrated by eating ice chips but by the time we got to the car, his temperature was 102.

We drove an hour to Cincinnati and checked into our hotel. We had an awesome view of a clock tower and we were on the same floor as the grandparents. We weren’t there 10 minutes before we changed into our bathing suits and went to the in-door pool. The water was the perfect temperature for Wells. It was the first time that Wells trusted his puddle-jumper and floated on his own! I sat on the steps of the pool, holding Crosby, and watched Chris swim and have fun with Millie and Wells. It was a beautiful time.

For dinner, we went to the hotel restaurant (they had an excellent soft pretzel). Wells ate a single french fry and threw it up later. Wells had a difficult night; fever and diarrhea. Crosby slept wonderfully for his first night away from home; he slept between me and Millie. Mill moves around in her sleep so I had to be mindful of how close she was getting to Crosby throughout the night. At one point, she hit her head on the headboard (it was really loud).

Morning came quick. We packed, ate pop-tarts, and loaded into the car on the way to the Newport Aquarium. Wells enjoyed looking at the different frogs; brightly colored poisonous frogs, big-eyed frogs, and frogs that stuck to the glass. Millie colored fish pictures with our initials on them with Grandpa. The fish were projected onto a digital screen. Both kids were super brave and walked across a tightrope bridge suspended over a tank full of sharks!

Before we went to the Cincinnati Zoo, we had lunch at an inner-city Skyline restaurant. The atmosphere was awesome and it was surrounded by brightly painted shops and a beautiful fountain. We went to the zoo and saw the hippos, Fiona and Fritz. Fiona was such a ham, kissing the glass and we saw Fritz kiss his daddy; it was so sweet. We got to see a tiger taking a bath, a snow leopard moving around the enclosure, and little lizards running around everywhere (I didn’t realize Ohio had lizards). Before we left, we stopped at the gift shop. Millie got a tie dye baseball hat that said, Fiona and Wells got a squishy ball in the shape of a shark.

July 4th was a special day. We had my mom and Maw over, Shauna, and Chris’ family, too. We ate and played corn hole. Once it got dark, we lit sparklers – Wells didn’t want to hold one; he tried on Memorial Day and didn’t like it. Millie did cartwheels in the yard while we watched the fireworks over the trees. Mawmaw lit Millie’s room with neon light sticks and the kids slept together through the sound of patriotic booms.

Millie would work on sight words at the breakfast table while Wells ate blueberry waffles (two, cut up, with butter on them, and syrup on the side). For every book that Mill read independently, she would get to add a pom-pom ball to her book worm, Maws idea, and she named it, Dotty. The word “the” gave her the most trouble. She could never remember it. Wells knew some sight words before the end of the summer; a, I.

Before lunch, we would play on the back patio in the baby pool and water table. The magnetic water balloons were the kids’ favorite toy this summer. They would trap their toys in the water balloons and throw them. Crosby got a water balloon to the cheek once – he’s a tough guy and didn’t even notice. Wells threw a water balloon at the back door at the same time that Chris was opening the door to ask me a question. Water got all over the hardwood floor but all we could do was laugh. It felt like heaven as Crosby slept on my chest, while I watched Millie and Wells water the flowers. Then, a fight would happen over the watering cans and I would heat up chicky nugs.

Dru and Uncle Nick wanted to take the kids putt-putting. This was their first time playing putt-putt golf. Millie of course, chose a pink ball. I was super impressed with how well she was lining up her shot and swinging the club. Wells mostly just ran all over the green. There were some arcade games in the lobby and Millie wanted to try the claw machine. She was impatient and hit the release button right over the drop shoot. She was devastated she didn’t win a toy (We explained to her that those games are rigged anyway). After the tears, we went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and found out that Mill really loves chips and salsa (she still doesn’t like tomato’s though, she thinks they’re squirty).

Millie was invited to an open house at her ballet studio for a dance exploration event. Chris took her and I stayed home with the boys. We both got the start time wrong so she was there almost an hour early however, Millie was able to have one-on-one time with instructors and older ballerinas in the company and was able to take pictures with them in their performance costumes. She was most excited about the ice-cream truck that came at the end. Chris said she did a really great job.

Wells had a good experience at his first dentist appointment! He watched Millie go before him. The tech gave him a pair of Spider-Man sunglasses to wear and she didn’t turn on her head lamp due to Wells’ eye sensitivity. I remembered to prepare him about the chair moving (I forgot with Millie). His cleaning didn’t last longer than five minutes and we found out that he didn’t have any cavities! I was nervous, the boy loves his sweets.

Both boys had an appointment with Children’s ophthalmology. Mawmaw came with us. Unfortunately, Crosby has the same genetic syndrome that Wells does and after the examination, it was confirmed that he has stage 1 dry eye. Wells allowed the cornea specialist to look into his eyes instead of squeezing them shut like he’s done in the past. I was so proud of Wells for doing a good job at this appointment that I took him to a trampoline park for a thirty minute jump. He would run across the trampolines and it looked so funny; his torso stayed still while his little legs moved so quickly.

The KidzBop Live Tour came through Columbus and we bought tickets because Mill is obsessed. She was pumped to be going to this concert; I let her pick out her outfit. She completed her look with a unicorn bow and a fuzzy, fanny-pack. The concert was held at the fairgrounds. Waiting in line to get in, I ran into a teacher friend and a current student of mine. I was wanded before entry and Wells was insistent on being scanned too. He was so observant; he held out his arms and turned around just like he saw me do. The whole fam went to this concert, including Crosby with his headphones. We arrived early enough to eat a funnel cake before the show. Millie was bummed only 4 kids performed. A little girl sitting in front of us shared beaded jewelry with Mill. I bought Mill a tour shirt and Wells a hat. We left shortly after intermission- it was hot and loud. Their new KidzBop attire read, “KidzBop Never Stop” and we had fun on the car ride home changing the last word of that slogan. Wells’ was my favorite, “KidzBop never poops”.

My best friend Lindsey invited us to spend a long weekend at Posey Lake in Hudson, Michigan with her and her family at her grandmothers lake house. Millie had been asking to go to the beach all summer so she finally got her chance to play in the sand. Wells pretended to give me ice-cream cones made out of sand. I was very impressed with how much Millie wanted to be in the water. It was awesome to see her and Chris play together in the lake; he would jump off the dock and she would score him. He taught her to close her mouth when waves came. We took pontoon rides around the lake and spotted turtles sunning on logs. Both Millie and Wells got to drive to boat with Lindsey’s help. We made s’mores at night; Millie liked her s’mores with a Reese Cup (it’s amazing that they make plant-based chocolate bars). Chris, Crosby, and I slept in a full sized bed while Millie and Wells slept in their sleeping bags on the floor. While we were sleeping on the first night, Wells managed to get his head stuck under the bed. I think the kids’ favorite part was jumping on the trampoline with Logan and Ben.

When we got home from the lake, our pet fish Shark had gone belly up. He wasn’t floating at the top but he was gone. We had an inclination that the ammonia levels were too high (I had been over feeding him and I didn’t know that could be an issue). Chris and I discussed what to do and we thought it best to be honest with the kids about what happened to Shark. We explained that Shark’s water made him sick and that he was dead. Wells was very upset; he cried. He cried when we buried him in the backyard under the pine tree. We all decorated the box Shark was buried in and we put his favorite plant in with him. Wells cried the next morning when he couldn’t feed him. It was incredibly sad. We decided that we will get another fish but not quite yet. Wells already decided that our next fish’s name will be Shark Junior.

The kids really wanted to go to the Ohio State Fair to ride on rides since they didn’t get to go on any when we were there for the Kidz Bop concert. My Dad agreed to help me take them. It was the hottest day ever. Millie was too scared to go on the roller coasters with Papa but they went into the FunHouse together. While they did that, I paid a man behind the darts counter to let Wells win a prize; to my surprise, Wells popped two balloons with the darts and he won a blue lemur! My Dad took both Mill and Wells on their first Ferris wheel ride; they were very brave. I took the kids through a Spider-Man maze (I almost slid into Mills back going down the slide). We shared a lemonade, French fries, corn on the cob, and a giant pickle.

We moved the kids’ rooms! Millie was moved into what was the guest room, Wells moved into Mills old room, and Crosby finally got a space of his own, in Wells’ old room. Millie’s new room is attached to the bathroom, which we felt was fitting as she’s the only girl sibling. Millie’s room was inspired by Sawn Lake. She has pink walls and lily pad curtains. There are ornate, brass details; her lamp, curtain rod, and side table pulls. She loves the space and it was fun giving her a “big girl” room. Wells is out of his crib and in a toddler bed. It was an adjustment encouraging him to stay in his bed through the night. Sharks are everywhere; a shark jaw bone, shark blankets, and hanging shark decor. Crosby is using Wells’ crib. I created his name sign for above his crib and Little Bear decor.

Sending Millie off to Kindergarten was easy because she was so ready. I was proud to send her to school with the knowledge she already had and the faith of how much she would learn. Going back to school myself was not so easy. Crosby was refusing the bottle and it was stressing me out. Chris was able to use his last weeks of paternity leave to watch Crosby while I started back to work. He was able to push through while Crosby learned that Mama was going to be gone for many hours during the day. Like the doctors said, if he gets hungry enough, he’ll take the bottle. After 3ish weeks, it was a non issue.

Some of my favorite summer highlights;

– Millie holding a tarantula

– Wells and I chasing after the bunny who feasted on my petunias

– Chris and Crosby surprising me at work on my birthday

Summer came and like that, it was over. It always goes by so fast. Those cheesy sayings, “Time flies when you’re having fun.” or “The days are long but the years are short.” are infuriating because they are absolutely correct. I swear, having three kids speeds up the time even more. I’m already thinking ahead to next summer – Crosby will be walking, Millie will have a year of school under her belt, and Wells will be getting ready to start pre-k. Until then, they’ll grow and I’ll continue dreaming of summer.

Baby

Millie is a Kindergartener

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Millie is a Kindergartener

As Chris carried Millie up the stairs tonight, hot tears streamed down my face. My early baby, my special girl, starts Kindergarten tomorrow. Where has the time gone?

I remember sleep training Millie. Chris would carry her upstairs and her little hand would reach over his shoulder to wave at me. I’d say, “I love you, Mill Moo. Jesus loves you, angel.” One night, when Millie was maybe eighteen months old, Chris said, “Alright, it’s time for bed.” Mill was sitting on my lap and she waved at him as if to say, “Well, goodnight then daddy.” My sweet, sassy girl.

After church, I dressed Millie up in uniform and took pictures of her with a “back to school” sign displaying her age, height, and what she wants to be when she grows up – a ballerina, of course. (I figured it would make for a less stressful morning if we took pictures ahead of time.) Mill said her polo sleeves made her look like a prince and that the uniform should have included pink and purple. When I showed her the pictures I took of her, her response was, “I look so tall!”

We read, “On the Night Before Kindergarten”. I packed her a heart-shaped, butter and jelly sandwich (her school is nut free), carrots, strawberries, and Oreos in her Barbie lunchbox. She requested a chocolate chip granola bar for her mid-morning snack (and ended up eating Pringles instead).

Me, “Are you excited for tomorrow?” Mill, “I’m most excited about the tablet. I can’t wait to read the books on the internet.”

Me, “Do you think you’ll nap during quiet time?” Mill, “Maybe I’ll rest my eyes a little bit.”

Me, “Are you worried about anything?” Mill, “You know I’m brave. I’m not nervous.”

Millie woke up before the alarm and climbed into our bed. She said, “Today’s the day, it’s finally here!” We said affirmations in the mirror while I curled her hair. She ate French toast sticks for breakfast while Chris and Wells kicked the soccer ball in the kitchen. We all piled up in the car to take her to school as a family.

As she walked into the school, she stopped to wave back at us and show the I love you sign. I watched until her koala backpack had long gone into the building.

I asked Mill when she got home, “How was your day?” She said, “Kindergarten is the best!”

Baby

To My Pre-K Graduate

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To My Pre-K Graduate

Millie, my shining star, you amaze me every. single. day. I remember receiving a card for my college graduation, from my grandmother, about stars. She told me how amazing she thought I was and that I was “a star amongst the stars”. I’ll be honest – my own self doubt, mean things people had said about me in the past, my anxiety about what was to come, never allowed me to let her words sink in. Here I am today, telling you how amazing I think you are, my shining star, a beacon of light in this crazy world, and I pray that you realize your worth. Your immense possibilities. Your chance to make every day, new. My grandma thought these things of me and my angel, she and everyone else that knows you thinks them of you.

Did you know that neither me or your dad went to pre-k? We had no idea how much you’d learn this school year. You blew me away with your knowledge of the Bible stories (the first time you said Israelites with your little voice, my heart melted). Your teachers love you. Goodness, I’m so incredibly proud of the work you’ve done this year and the person you are becoming.

A message from your Daddy:

Mia, I want you to know that I am so proud of the little girl you’ve grown to be. You constantly surprise me with how much you’ve learned and how giving and social you are. You are always trying to help make sure that everyone around you is having just as much fun as you, whether it’s helping your dance classmates to get in line for an activity, reading your new book over and over again with everyone in the room, or practicing new jokes with me to make sure you can make the next person laugh. I love to see that your priority is always to bring joy to the people around you.

Every day that I picked you up from preschool this year, I just waited for that first moment you saw me because the smile that lights up your face when the door opens means the world to me. I hope that is the first reaction you get from seeing me forever, because I will always want to bring joy in your life.

I am so excited for you to start the next step in growing up, and I know you’re ready for it. You are going to love school, and I can’t wait to see how much you continue to grow and learn. As I’m writing this the morning of your graduation, you just came charging out of your room and yelled “today is the day!” Every single day you wake up with that same excitement to tackle new things. I’ll always be there cheering for you the whole way.

Happy Graduation Day, Millie Moo!

Baby

IFAP cont.

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IFAP cont.

We found out about my compromised X chromosome when I was already pregnant with our third. We chose not to find out the gender and I prayed it was a girl; a girl who wasn’t a carrier. 9 months later, it’s a boy, Crosby, and he has IFAP.

Two weeks after Crosby was born, Wells had to go under anesthesia to remove his eye tubes (good for nothing) and for the corneal specialist to take a closer look at his eyes. After the procedure, the doctors informed us that there was no corneal scarring and no signs of early glaucoma – huge relief. There was eyelid inflammation and of course, the blockage of oil ducts. His dry eye is chronic; the flourometholone and erythromycin are helping with that. Overall, the ophthalmologist and corneal specialist agree that the treatment plan he’s currently on is definitely the best thing moving forward.

The summer time is the absolute worst for his dry, cracked feet. Flip-flops, chlorine, no socks – it was creating many deep cracks that sometimes bled. The Urea cream that we were prescribed (that we found cheaper on Amazon) wasn’t absorbing into his heels. Thankfully, my in-laws’ neighbor is a doctor and he was headed up to do some research at the Mayo Clinic. He offered to pull some information about IFAP for us which turned out to be incredibly helpful. He brought back a stack of papers – all related to, or resources for IFAP syndrome. I read through case studies that I hadn’t seen before. It was surreal reading about other boys with the exact condition as Wells. Three different children were treated with a medicine, Acitretin (10mg per day) and saw improvement in skin features. I reached out to the dermatologist right away.

The dermatologist said that Acitretin could smooth the rough texture of his skin and help with the cracking on the feet. She did not expect hair growth from the medication (all of the case studies from the Mayo Clinic said nothing helped the Alopecia). She explained that Acitretin is not a medication without side effects (skin drying out, possible growth abnormalities, high liver enzymes). There would be regular monitoring of blood work and x rays to safely have him on the medication.

We learned that Acitretin is usually used in treating psoriasis. Women cannot take this medication because it can cause reproductive issues. We read about people who have used and currently use this medication and weighed out the pros and cons. Wells can stop taking this medicine cold-turkey if we notice any negative side effects, it’s non addictive – it’s a vitamin A derivative, and you can start at a very low dosage and still see results. Some scary cons were lack of growth (already an issue if you have IFAP), chapped (to the point of cracking) lips, it’s only offered in capsulated form, and possible abnormal blood results. After careful consideration, we decided to try Wells on the Acitretin.

Wells’ preliminary blood results came back with elevated triglycerides. The dermatologist called me and asked if we fasted before the blood draw. I was like, “Nope. He ate TimBits.” My bad. Even still, we were given the green light to start the medicine. The Acitretin only came in capsule form so we were encouraged to give it to him by opening the pill and pouring the medicine onto something with high fat intake. We decided on whipped cream. Wells began taking the Acitretin and within two days, his skin felt smoother than it had ever been. He did get a gnarly sore on the corner of his mouth because his lips were so incredibly dry from taking this medication. It hurt him to open his mouth too wide especially when he was eating. We informed the dermatologist and she recommended we try taking the medicine every other day. I noticed that the daily vitamin that we were giving him also vitamin A, 100% of his daily value. We started giving Wells the Acitretin once every three days and the balance was perfect.

Crosby has the sandpaper textured arms and legs. His cheeks aren’t as bad as Wells’ were but they’re rough, too. He has two large, bald patches on the top of his head. His eyes water when we take him outside. His nose constantly runs. Until Crosby’s feet crack to the point of discomfort, he wont see the dermatologist. It’s a waiting game to see how many side effects he’ll have of this awful syndrome.

I was let down at our annual, geneticist appointment. Last year, I requested from the doctors to find us a support group for IFAP (didn’t happen). In fact, the doctor said I was the specialist on IFAP now and I know more about the syndrome than him, the doctor (real reassuring considering I don’t know a whole lot). We were told that the type of Alopecia the boys have is called, Atrichia, a rare, recessive form of alopecia where people are born with hair that falls out and is never replaced. Wells has a patch of hair like this and most of Crosby’s head has no hair. The rosemary oil we’ve been buying and putting on their scalp does no good; the hair loss is irreversible.

Nationwide Children’s hospital hosted a Rare Disease Day on March 1st, that my mother-in-law and I attended for knowledge about participation in research studies for the boys. Organizations like NORD and A Kid Again set up booths to spread awareness of their services. The MC spoke about rare diseases being embodied by the zebra; when you hear hooves, you think horses however, sometimes hooves can mean zebras!

The keynote speaker was a doctor and patient who discovered, and named, a rare disease. They were incredibly transparent about the research/patient experience (no one wants their children to feel like lab rats). We were informed of the website clinicaltrials.gov where we’ve already found studies both active and completed about parts of IFAP. Ichthyosis is really being researched in France.

At the end of the session, the MC asked for everyone in attendance to take a group photo. By chance, the doctor who spoke stood next to me! I asked her, “What should I do if our doctors aren’t looking into research studies for us? I know more about our rare disease than the doctors do.” She explained to me that it’s the doctors who will be able to find the best clinical studies for my boys and that I should reach out to them and let them know that I am interested in research studies even if it’s done by a fellow and not a “famous” doctor. I told her that some research is being done in France for parts of IFAP syndrome to which she said, “Sounds like that could be a nice vacation. I have patients in France. Try to contact the doctor facilitating the protocol and see if they know anyone in the U.S. also doing this research.”

The breakout session we attended was about participation in research studies. It was suggested to contact the pharmaceutical company of the medication the boys are on to see if there’s research studies we can take part in. Researchmatch was another application that was mentioned to connect patients to clinical studies.

I learned that there is a Rare Disease Advisory Counsel that I might try to join when I get some free time (lol free time, what is that?) NCH has a program called “Connecting families” where families who are newly diagnosed can speak with families who have been through it. It would be incredibly rare for someone to have IFAP but I am definitely interested in potentially helping another family facilitate life with a rare disease. There are also rare disease sibling support groups that I could look into later for Millie.

A week after the Rare Disease event, I was informed that our family qualified for, A Kid Again. It’s a nonprofit organization that offers free, monthly events and activities for families dealing with a life-threatening condition. They handle all the expenses and details, so that families can simply enjoy themselves. I was excited that we were given this opportunity but at the same time I felt bad because my sons have poor enough health to qualify. (I gave that to them, that compromised X chromosome.) The kids don’t age out until they’re twenty so we can experience these fun adventures for a while. I know they’ll be something we all look forward to. We will go to our first outing in April!

parenting

Pre K

by motheringmillieLeave a Comment on Pre K
Pre K

Mill could not start Kindergarten this fall because of her November birthday. I strongly believe she would have done absolutely fine with kindergarten curriculum however I knew she’d benefit socially from a preschool experience. We decided to enroll her at the private, Christian school closest to our home (it came with great reviews from neighbors and colleagues).

When I visited the school, I was impressed with what I saw; sight words on the walls, daily schedules, letter identification, bookcases of age appropriate books, and clean spaces. I think I was expecting pre-school to look like the daycare facilities we toured when she was younger but this was far from that.

Millie and I went to drop off her emergency medical information and the administrator allowed us to visit her classroom and meet her teacher. Summer classes were in session so when we got to the classroom, Millie was more interested in meeting the students rather than her teacher. They were working on a, “write the room” activity and Millie just joined in. I met with the teacher while she worked and played. When it was time to leave, Mill cried and asked why I didn’t sign her up for summer classes! She was so ready for school.

Getting school supplies for Millie was fun, pricey but fun. She wanted everything to be pink and sparkly; her backpack, her lunch box, her pencil pouch, you name it. We decided on a Barbie lunch box (that was big enough for both breakfast and lunch containers) a Skip-Hop preschool-sized backpack that looks like a koala, and a pencil pouch with a glittery butterfly. We filled her backpack with everything from her class list; glue sticks, safety scissors, colored pencils, crayons, skin-colored crayons, washable markers, and a paint set.

Dietary Needs: I was vegetarian when Mill was born and she was exclusively breastfed. After she’d eat, she’d projectile vomit, and her doctor told me to try limiting my dairy intake (cheese was three parts of my food pyramid). Chris also has a lactose intolerance so this change of diet benefited him as well. Four years later and veganism is our lifestyle. State law mandates that each child receive a milk (specially from a cow, 2% dairy) every day. To not have a carton of milk placed in front of my child, I had to have forms signed my Mill’s pediatrician stating she has a lactose intolerance and that she should be given water in place of milk. Oat and soy milk are allowed however, Millie doesn’t drink either.

Included in the weekly price, her school provides breakfast, lunch, and snacks. I highlight the monthly menu with the foods Millie can eat – apple sauce, tomato soup, carrot sticks, etc. I still pack her breakfast, lunch, and two snacks to ensure she has plenty of food to eat during the day. I also pack a small, daily joke card with her lunch because Mill is super into telling jokes lately. Her teacher reads it to her and she’d recite it back to me when she came home. Here’s some of her favorite lunches:

– left over pizza, grapes, cucumbers

– Pasta salad, peaches, dairy-free laughing cow cheese

– Sandwich (white bread, butter, and strawberry jelly) chips, apple slices

– Black bean and corn dip, tortilla chips, blueberries

The week before school started, I tried to best prepare Millie for pre-k. I made her lunch in the new containers so she could practice opening them. I created a schedule for her mornings and posted it on her closet door so that she would know the routine. I bought hanger labels with the days of the week on them so that we could pick out her outfits ahead of time. We read books about starting school. We took, “first day of school” pictures days before the actual first day of school so the first morning wouldn’t be so chaotic.

I was really anxious about Millie starting pre-k. Chris and I thought up worst case scenarios; what if she went into a bathroom stall and there was poop in the toilet? Would she know to pick a new stall? Would she try to flush it? Would she just hold herself? All the prepping in the world wouldn’t prepare her for every possible encounter she’d experience on her first day.

The night before Millie’s first day of school, I prayed with her as she laid in bed. Before I closed her door, I heard her say, “I can’t wait till I come home to celebrate your birthday mommy.” My heart melted. In the hustle and bustle of the new school year, I completely forgot about my birthday. She’s so incredibly thoughtful. I cried on the couch for the next 10 minutes about my baby (my early baby!) starting school. The next day, I turned 30 and Millie had her first day of pre-k.

Chris took Millie to school in the morning because I started back to work, my ninth year teaching. He said Millie told him that she was nervous which of course made me worry. When I picked her up from school at the end of the day, the nerves were gone. She told me she made a new boy-friend, Daxon, and her teacher said she had a great day. She even slept during nap time! When I told her that she’d be coming back the next day, she was excited.

I was so proud of Mill the day her teacher told me that she was so helpful to a new student. At four years old, her character is so kind. Everyday we received excellent reports on Millie’s work and behavior. They have a weekly special; art, gym, or music. She has learned about about the life cycle of a tree, how different color apples taste, the difference between warm and cool colors, Scripture, etc. Some days she’d come home with her hair styled different – she had the longest hair in her class so of course the other little girls play with it and the teachers!

So far this year, they have had a fall festival where the pumpkin patch came to their school and gave out pumpkins and doughnuts, a trick-or-treat event with the old folks home next door, the firemen did a presentation, and a reunion with a family who’s been apart because of active duty. We are so excited for their upcoming Christmas program. Millie has been practicing hard on the lyrics and the dance moves of both songs they’re performing.

More as she continues the school year!