Most of the dances I’ve attended, I’ve gone with the same date, and I didn’t think that I would enjoy going to an event like that with anyone but her. Whenever Aly and I get dressed up to go out together I always have this warm, comfortable feeling of being in the right place with the right woman, and a feeling of pride that someone so beautiful and fun would want to be there with me. The old nerves about dancing or fumbling over flirting have faded and been replaced by familiar dance patterns we learned together, and the comfort of more than a decade and a half of having her hand in mine.
So with that being said, it was surprising to me how excited I was to prepare for Mia’s first dance. The father daughter dance sponsored by her school was, in my mind, just something this Christian school would give a token effort to. I figured that it would be more stiff and less fun than the types of dances I had attended when I was growing up (especially since it was just for K-8 at a Christian school…). Regardless, I was excited for Mia to have the opportunity to do something fun through her school, and excited that I got to be part of it.
I definitely did not give the school and the event planners enough credit! From the moment we were let in the doors, she got to pick out a custom made flower crown, and there was a full professional photographers booth (that Aly had pre-paid and prepared us for ahead of time), with a space for the dads to stand in line, and tables full of different crafting station for the girls to do something fun while waiting. We decided to do that before we got too sweaty dancing. Mia drew a picture with some of her friends, and crafted a custom made bookmark with pressed flowers. After the picture, it was into the ballroom.
The gym had been fully converted to the extent that I did not even recognize the room. 3 of the walls had curtains put up to create the illusion of a dedicated dance floor, there were strings of lights stretched overhead all the way across the gym, there were full disco lights and the DJ was playing fantastic (age appropriate!) dance music! There were tables set up with cookies and snacks and different drinks, and benches for resting. The setting was incredible, and I could tell that Mia was amazed at the conversion of the room. She could not stand still for a second, zipping all over the room every time she saw a familiar face, I could barely keep up with her!
The DJ mixed in fun activities with the normal music, which encouraged people to stay out on the dance floor for more than just dancing. There were Congo lines, line dancing, limbo circles, even a soul train (where people dance down the center of two lines of people while being cheered). These activities did a great job of keeping the dance lively and as many people out on the floor as possible.
The majority of the first portion of the dance I was just trying to keep up with Mia as she found all her friends and spent a few minutes dancing, and then zipped off again to see someone else. It was wonderful to see how friendly everyone was with her, and it made me happy that she had so many friends. At first I was nervous that these people would not be welcoming to her, but my worries eased a little bit as each new interaction showed that they were all familiar with her and her tendencies to be a social butterfly, jumping to and from different friend groups all over the floor.
Once she had greeted all her friends and gone through the limbo line with a few different groups of girls, she then gravitated back towards spending time with me, and I experienced that same sense of comfort and contentment that I always feel being around her mother. If anything, my heart was even more full because there was also pride for the beautiful, wonderful person she is becoming. I showed her all the line dances I knew, and I picked her up and spun her around every chance I got, much the same way that I had done for her mother when we were 18 at her homecoming. It was an amazing time, and I can’t wait for the next dance.
Millie was quick to speak. We quickly realized that we had to write down what she said and its context or else there would be no possible way we’d remember the adorable way she found her voice. At two and a half years old, Millie cracked us up by calling her socked feet, “awkward.” She’d use big words like hydrate, camouflage, and seriously. Here’s my attempt to capturing some of her cute “Millie-isms” throughout the years.
April 2021 My mom altered a picture of my grandma using a younger filter, “Millie does this picture look like MawMaw?” Millie – “Not even.”
May 2021 Seeing roofers on the neighbors house, Millie – “Hey boys!”
Me – “Remember when you rode on that camels back? You were so brave!” Millie – “No. I was definitely scared.”
Me – “You knocked over Mommy and Daddy’s wedding picture and you need to say you’re sorry.” Millie – “You’re the worst.”
June 2021 Watching the Kids Baking Championship, Millie – “Mommy, he is really a boy.”
Me singing, “I Like to Move it, Move it”, Millie – “No more of that stupid music!” (You were reprimanded for this)
Chris buckling Mill into her car seat, Millie – “You’re taking my life away!”
Millie and me watching a show about Koalas, Millie – “I’m sorry, her mom is not attractive.”
June 2021 After her first dentist appointment, Me – “I’m so proud of you.” Millie – “I’m proud of me, too.”
7/4/21 Watching fireworks with friends and Millie asked a 6 year old, “How old were you when you lost your first tooth?” He answered, “I haven’t lost any of my teeth yet.” (I was so impressed with her well worded question.)
I was singing along with music in the car. Millie – “Mommy, I hear two voices and I only want to hear one.”
July 2021 Aunt Mollie holding you across the hot sand at the beach, “I have to put you down now baby.” Millie – “I can’t walk forever.”
Millie – “Logan’s my boyfriend.” Me – “No honey, he’s your friend. You can’t start having boyfriends until you’re 16.” Millie – “Mommy, I’m 17 today.”
August 2021 Millie and Maw bought me a beautiful, pink hydrangea plant but it died while we we were on vacation. I planted the roots and continued to water the very dead looking plant. Millie would ask, “Is it dead?” every time we’d go outback. I would tell her that the roots were still good and if we’re lucky, the hydrangea would grow back. Weeks later, I saw some green leaves growing from the hydrangea. I turned off the hose, bent down, and showed Mill what water, sunshine, and love could do. Millie said, “Thank you for showing me this to me, mommy.”
Watching Peter Pan when the Dog Nana can’t fly to Neverland because she’s roped up. Millie says, “Well that’s disappointing.”
9/19/21 According to Millie, we’re only allowed to refer to Wells as, “Poom-pa”. He was her husband and was very resistant to her affection.
Me – “Are you gonna love your mama forever?” Mill – “You’re the best, you guess.”
Looking at a wedding picture of Chris and me, Millie asks, “Who was babysitting me at your wedding?”
Maw, “Amelia how long is the aquarium open? From when to when?” Millie said, “when to when.”
Painting Christmas decorations, Millie – “Mary, Jesus, and Jo-fiss.”
Millie going to the bathroom – Chris tried to give her a high five. She declined. Chris gave her a kiss. Mille, “I need a little privacy!” When she was finished, “I poop-did!”
12/22 Listening to Christmas music in the car and Deck the Halls changed from a major to a minor tonality. Millie – “This sounds like Christmas and Halloween! Like Santa turned into a warewolf!”
Mawmaw- “It’s cold in Minnesota.” Millie – “I would drink a cold mini soda!”
1/14/22 Me, dancing because I got the final jeopardy question right. Millie – “That’s bad. That’s so bad.”
Playing restaurant with Millie – “You make the food. You are the peasant. I am the rich lady.”
Me – “You can sit on my lap if you want.” Millie – “I would love to.”
Millie playing the piano – “This song is called Frozen, not Frozen from Frozen.”
Millie came home from ballet – “Hi, Wells. I’m back.” Wells looked over his shoulder and saw me, ran and yelled, “MAMA!” Millie – “He still loves me.”
Her car seat was making a squeaky sound on the car leather. Mill – “I don’t like that sound. It makes me annoyed.”
Mia “I drew a potato in the story.” Me, “Why?” Mia, “just for another character.”
March 2022 Chris singing all the words to Smashmouth’s, “All Star”. Millie – “Daddy, you’re just not cool”.
Millie – “Mommy, I have the rep-a-see on my phone” (she hold out her hand) “Two vegan eggs, butta, some chaulk-it chips. Do we have all of that?”
Millie holding a popcorn kernel – “If I plant this seed, it’ll turn into a popcorn tree.”
4/25/22 Mill and I playing Barbies – Mill, “Our parents are on vacation so that means I’m the boss.” Me, “Who made you the boss?” Millie, “Jesus. Now let’s go.”
5/4/22 Mill, “Mommy, at my next birthday I’m going to be six.” Me, “No, Mill. You’re going to be five. Can’t you just turn three again?” Mill, “No, Mommy. I can’t go back to where I’ve already been.”
5/19/22 Mill, “Daddy, will you blow up the poop bag?” Asking about the whoopie cushion!
6/19/2022 Me while cleaning the kitchen, “I don’t know why anyone would come over to our house a second time, it’s disgusting.” Millie, “Oh, it’s awful.”
7/6 Mill, trying to open a peanut shell with her fork, “See Mommy. It’s science.” Me, “Be careful, science.” Millie, “I’m not science, I’m curious!”
Millie at the Ohio State Fair, “That’s a big goat!” Me, “That’s a cow.”
8/1/22 Watching Master Chef Gordon Ramsey, “…without a shadow of a doubt.” Millie, “I have a shadow of a dog.” holding her stuffed animal, Fitz in the air, casting a shadow of him on the wall.
Millie to Wells after he threw a potato at her in the grocery cart, “Wells, you’re going to have a consequent”.
10/22 Chris, “Mia, do you have a cold?” Mill, “No, just the sniffles.” Chris, “Well, it is the season.” Mill, “Yeah, the astronauts.” Chris, “The what?” Mill, “The astronauts that come from Mars and bring all the germs.”
12/24/22 Millie to Wells – “If you’re not nice, Santa will put you on the naughty list.” Wells – “wandy wist” Mill – “The naughty list. Not the laundry list.”
Millie watching a commercial, “That man looks like a monkey, like a tangerine.” Me – “You mean an orangutan?” Millie, “yeeaaahh.”
Mill – “Snoop Soggy Dog!”
1/26/23 I was speaking to Chris about a contestant on a cooking show – “You know she’s only there because she’s a pretty blonde.” Millie – “She can’t see?!” Me – “That’s blind, honey. “
Chris and Millie playing tic-tac-toe, Millie – “Don’t go there.” Chris – “Hey, you can’t tell me where to go.” Millie -“Don’t try to block me!” Chris – “I’m not going to just let you win for free!” Millie – “Nooo, Jesus wants me to win!”
4/1/23 Me – “Mill, what’s your favorite thing about Wells?” Millie – “Nothing.” Me – “Come on, there has to be something you like about your brother.” Millie – “Yeah. I like his squeezey hugs.”
Mill singing, “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is down the stream.”
4/20/23 Millie got in trouble at school for talking while the teacher was talking. The teacher was going to separate the two for continuing to talk to each other. I said, “Mill, who were you sitting next to? Layla, Lucy, Taylor? Mill – “No, it was a boy. Hudson.” Me – “Okay, what were you talking about?” Mill – “He was telling me that he thinks I’m pretty.”
4/27/23 Wells was very emotional coming off his anesthesia from an eye procedure. He was kicking and hitting and it was hurting Millie’s feelings. Mill said – “The doctors erased his memory!”
4/28/23 Millie trying to explain a bunk bed to Wells. Millie- “It’s like two beds stuck together.” Wells – “What?” Mill – “Wells, it’s like two beds but together.” Wells – “What?” Millie – “Ugh. It’s hard to explain.”
5/4/23 Millie – “Good morning, sis-a-tens!” Chris – “It’s citizens.”
5/19/23 Getting ready to do a craft ; Me – “Millie, where are you?” Millie – “In the bathroom. Make sure Fitz (her stuffed dog) doesn’t chew on the candle!” Me – “Okay. Fitz, don’t chew on the candle.” Millie – “Fitz is a good dog Mommy, don’t tell him what to do!”
6/3/23 Chris and his dad took Millie and Wells to Home Depot to do a kids project. Millie, “I know what’s next.” Grandpa, “How do you know?” Millie, “Because I can see.”
6/10/23 At Taylor’s softball game Wells and Mill were playing in the dirt. Millie said, “Wells you watch me but do not irritate me.”
6/12/23 Millie came home from vacation Bible school and was like, “I learned about King Lewis!” We got an email like, “Today we learned about King Josiah.” she is so bad with names.
7/2/23 Millie eating pasta salad next to mawmaw, “I’m eating my appetite!”
7/8/23 Asking Millie to help me clean up the playroom, “I can’t. I’m calming down this raccoon.”
7/17/23 Waiting in the car for her dentist appointment, Chris, Millie, and Wells were singing Kidzbop songs. The song “Kings and Queens” came on, and Amelia goes, “Why do they raise their toes?” The song says “raise a toast”.
7/31/23 Chris was skipping rocks on the lake and Millie said, “Here Daddy! Skittle this rock!”
8/2/23 Wells was asleep on the couch and Millie said, “I like to snuggle him now because I can rub his ear and he won’t fight me.”
9/29/23 Mill singing, “corn dog, corn bread, corn in your poop.”
10/5/23 Mill at Doughnuts for Dad at her school, a little girl asked what Chris’ name was. Mill said her name. The little girl said, “No, not your name, your Daddy’s name.” Millie says, “Oh, his name is Daddy.”
10/8/23 Wells was sick. Mill said, “I don’t want his whippy cough!”
11/20/23 I told the kids that they used to be scared of daddy dressed as Santa. Wells was adamant that he is scared of nothing; he stomps on monsters. Millie, “Wells! Don’t fight daddy Santa!”
12/6/23 Wells came with me to pick Millie up from school. Millie said, “What did you do today, Wells?” Wells said, “Watched hamster videos.” Millie said, “Was it the one where the hamster was going through the maze?” I said, “How did you know that, Mill?” Millie said, “Ugh. Wells has forced me to watch that before.”
12/14/23 I asked Millie if she remembered playing Blues Clues with me when she was three. She said, “Was it early in the morning?” I said, “Yeah – you were still in your jammies. How do you remember that?” Millie – “Sometimes I lock things in my head.”
12/23/23 At the Nutcracker I say, “Alright, it’s intermission”. Mill says, “That’s like…halftime?”
2/28/24 “I don’t want Wells to turn 4, he’s just gonna be more mean to me. He just wants to be the boss.”
3/25/24 Listening to the Hamilton Broadway music, “Why does Hamilton want to go to war? He’s so good at singing.”
4/5/24 “Please, pretty please. I’ll give you a kiss on the face if we don’t watch the Cubs.”
4/10/24 Mill and I were at the grocery store and she wanted to ride on Sandy the Pony. I didn’t have any change in my purse so I told her she could sit on the ride but it wouldn’t “go”. She walked over to the horse and found pennies sitting next to the ride. She was so excited and asked if she could use one. I agreed and she happily rode the pony ride. As I was putting the groceries into the trunk Mill said, “Mommy, can you let me into the car? I need to pray.” I said, “Sure, what about?” She said, “I want to say thank you to Jesus for that penny. We didn’t have one and he provided for us.” I said, “You know what? That’s a great idea. I’m going to thank him for providing us with a trunk full of groceries.” (I also thanked him for her.)
4/22/24 Millie was the “big spoon” laying next to her daddy at the hotel. She was scratching his head and saying, “shhhh, shhhh”.
5/10/24 Millie to her fishing hook: “You were supposed to go far and get mama a big one!”
5/17/14 We were all ice-skating and Millie said to her daddy, “Your feet are so beautiful!”
5/18/24 When Millie was ending her 3rd ballet season, her instructor, Ms. Angel said they were getting an award of “achievement” and Millie said, “You said cheese?”
5/25/24 While visiting JMU, Millie said, “Daddy, why is this road so heavy?” She was walking up a hill.
6/2/24 Mill was taking a video of her baby brother for her “sus-scri-vers” on the tablet. I heard her say, “Give a like and I’ll show you his new molar!”
7/15/24 “I can’t play that goodly.” Losing at Uno.
7/22/24 Passing the time, coming home from Chicago, Mill- “Knock knock.” Chris, “Who’s there?” Mill (perfectly in time, lets out a huge sneeze): achoo!
8/11/24 Playing volleyball in the pool, “Scootered me over there!”
9/21/24 “Crosby bless-you’d on his food and then he ate it.”
9/27/24 Millie playing hand clapping games with Maw, “Oh, you’re so bad at this.”
10/5/24 Mill and I were discussing her previous birthday party themes in the car, on the way to ballet. I said, “Man, your Barbie birthday was awesome.” Millie said, “Except the drinks were trash.”
11/2/24 Talking about OSU needing to win their game, Millie said, “It’s not fair that one team wins and one team loses.” Chris said, “That is fair. The better team deserves to win.” Mill said, “The football-illians need to decide that both teams can win.”
11/25/24 Watching Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving Millie said, “They call him Chuck. Why?! His name is Charlie Brown!”
12/30/24 Mill was struggling out on the skating rink and she said, “Help me, Mommy! I want to go back on land!”
1/3/25 Leaving Walmart and seeing 6 cops arresting people by the entrance, Millie waves from the back seat and says, “Bye, criminals!”
1/16/25 Driving home after picking Mill up from school Mill says, “If I close my eyes, Crosby smells like a pasta noodle.”
1/23/25 Chris asking Mill how her day was, “Chloe and Lettie are always walking in gym instead of running. And the diabetes girl.”
2/7/25 Mill couldn’t remember what to call the custodian so she called him, “the spill taker”.
4/7/25 Wells was brushing my hair and got it in a tangled mess. Millie said, “ Wells, you put a really big number on this brush.“
5/9/25 We were eating at Roosters and the waitress brought me my veggie sub. Millie asked, “Mommy, is that salad on toast?”
8/15/25 Watching the Tiny Chef Show, I asked, “What’s that fuzzy thing?” Mill said, “That’s his pet. It’s a cat-a-pillar”
9/16/25 Driving home from tennis class, Mill told me she was embarrassed by what a boy behind her said; he asked her, “Are you wearing pink underwear?” Now, Mills skirt was a little big on her but I reassured her that seeing her underwear was better than seeing her butt cheeks. She said, “It’s just weird because he’s a stranger.” I told her, “Don’t worry honey, we won’t wear that skirt for a while.” She said, “So I can get to know him more?” Said, “No! So you can grow into your skirt!”
9/16/25 Watching Dancing with the Stars, Chris said, “I think my song anthem would be living on a prayer.” Millie said, “You mean living on a prairie?”
12/20/25 Each night in December, I read the kids different holiday books. After I read, The Joy of Giving, I asked Millie what her favorite gift was that she’s ever received (thinking an American Girl or Disney trip) she smiled and nodded her head down to her baby sister in her arms.
As Chris carried Millie up the stairs tonight, hot tears streamed down my face. My early baby, my special girl, starts Kindergarten tomorrow. Where has the time gone?
I remember sleep training Millie. Chris would carry her upstairs and her little hand would reach over his shoulder to wave at me. I’d say, “I love you, Mill Moo. Jesus loves you, angel.” One night, when Millie was maybe eighteen months old, Chris said, “Alright, it’s time for bed.” Mill was sitting on my lap and she waved at him as if to say, “Well, goodnight then daddy.” My sweet, sassy girl.
After church, I dressed Millie up in uniform and took pictures of her with a “back to school” sign displaying her age, height, and what she wants to be when she grows up – a ballerina, of course. (I figured it would make for a less stressful morning if we took pictures ahead of time.) Mill said her polo sleeves made her look like a prince and that the uniform should have included pink and purple. When I showed her the pictures I took of her, her response was, “I look so tall!”
We read, “On the Night Before Kindergarten”. I packed her a heart-shaped, butter and jelly sandwich (her school is nut free), carrots, strawberries, and Oreos in her Barbie lunchbox. She requested a chocolate chip granola bar for her mid-morning snack (and ended up eating Pringles instead).
Me, “Are you excited for tomorrow?” Mill, “I’m most excited about the tablet. I can’t wait to read the books on the internet.”
Me, “Do you think you’ll nap during quiet time?” Mill, “Maybe I’ll rest my eyes a little bit.”
Me, “Are you worried about anything?” Mill, “You know I’m brave. I’m not nervous.”
Millie woke up before the alarm and climbed into our bed. She said, “Today’s the day, it’s finally here!” We said affirmations in the mirror while I curled her hair. She ate French toast sticks for breakfast while Chris and Wells kicked the soccer ball in the kitchen. We all piled up in the car to take her to school as a family.
As she walked into the school, she stopped to wave back at us and show the I love you sign. I watched until her koala backpack had long gone into the building.
I asked Mill when she got home, “How was your day?” She said, “Kindergarten is the best!”
Mothering Millie 